Ho ho ho, listeners. Hope you're prepared for an expired egg nog induced fever dream because this episode is WEIRD. Joker terrorizes the city of Gotham, the spirit of Christmas and our expectations of what BTAS is supposed to be. We also discuss how much A Christmas Story sucks (a whole bunch), the wonderful caption work they are doing at Amazon and proper Joker Hostage Etiquette.

Our first episode features "On Leather Wings" the first episode of Batman: The Animated Series and super goddamn weird pilot. Featuring wannabe radio DJs, the Great Mustache Debate of 2016, outrageous apocalypse survival plans, sexy eyebrows, special guest Michael Caine and one incredible book, it's a pretty odd pilot for both shows.

Welp. This one is a bit of a bummer. Recorded the day after the US Presidential Election, Cameron sits this episode out as Zack, Graham and Mitch find the cyberpunk dytopia of Batman Beyond hitting a little too close to home. We also discovered a cache of secret anime, ponder whether Doctor Strange vapes and discover that high schoolers are the worst no matter what century you're in.

Y'all ready to get weird? We return to the far-flung future of the DCAU as Terry McGinnis takes on his first legitimate, and sexy, supervillain: Inque! In between discovering bold new fetishes, the crew talks about Westworld, Graham's inexhaustible parade of cartoon lady crushes, the sport of FutureBall and Mitch won't stop EATING HIS GODDAMN HUMMUS.

Hail and well met, adventurers! Due to budgetary concerns, the league find themselves scraping together all the loose animation frames they can find as they're sucked into episode writer Joseph Kuhr's D&D campaign. And I mean why not? It's got a giant snake in it!

During today's Wonder Woman-centric episode, Mitchell shares a story of snow day heroics, Cameron dons his dungeon master hat to critique Felix Faust's wizarding tactics (but praise Hades' villainous rhetoric), and Graham becomes indignant that baka gaijin continue to interpret Hades' as villainous at all. [music continues]

Your Komix Korner/The Fuck You Read?'s recommendation for this week is Kingdom Come, by "Wet" Mark Waid and Alex Ross.

The band's back together! As we return to our very on #brand Watchtower, we find our favorite super-team trying to prove the innocence of one of their own: Green Lantern! Along the way we meet his shitty co-workers, discover an incredibly unsubtle robot uprising and learn about Zack's embarassing underwear. 

After dredging through the wasteland, we have found civilization. The Justice League is here. And alongside the World's Greatest Superheroes is a bunch of comics talk, terrifying body horror and  guest appearances from friend of the show Michael Caine, Geoff and Johns, and two different versions of President John F. Kennedy!

We're back! We had to hit a stinker at some point, and BOY did we hit one. Keeping with the quality of Static Shock's premiere we descend into chaos right out the gate. Join us for a journey into the depths of creepy bookselling, the manic cry for help that is Static Shock's soundtrack and how many goddamn times the boys can try to drive Zack insane.

Recurring super-foe Rudy Jones AKA Parasite is introduced to the DCAU canon this week, in another shining example of Superman: The Animated Series' commitment to Good Cartooning.  Did you know that Parasite has a lot of Deviantart porn? Of course you did. Everything has a lot of Deviantart porn. Beyond Cameron's efforts to trick us into learning more about Parasite's aforementioned Deviantart porn, we adjudicate whether any non-McElroys are legally allowed to make the "breaking news" noise in this post-Haunted Doll Watch world, recap Zack's TLC experience (whatever that stands for), and test Cameron's knowledge on our beloved stars of stage and screen.

Towerheads, prepare yourself for your first proper taste of true Luthor villainy and an introduction to all-state DCAU henchwoman Mercy Graves in episode 5 of Superman: The Animated Series, "A Little Taste of Home." Spoiler alert: it is very good. Along the way, we phone a friend about the proper pronunciation of train-based sentai series ToQger, commend the series' period-appropriate radiation safety protocols, and discuss ancient Babylonian Crockery at length because it annoys Zack.

And lo, as Dr. Fate did predict, we have returned to cover the second/fourth episode of Superman: The Animated Series, in which our titular hero squares off against a man who is a doll. We're down a co-host for this week's harrowing sprint through Bruce Timm's psyche, but we more than make up for it with a rousing roundtable on Batman's Pokémon type coverage and surefire strategies for all the aspiring toymen out there.

Apologies for the sub-par audio folks, due to technical difficulties we had to utilize our back-up recording. It is fitting though, because this episode is some hot goddamn garbage. Zeta Project continues to dig bold new depths of mediocrity, and our hosts slowly lose their mind in the process,  We also discover Mitch's hatred of Transformers, Cameron's continued movie ignorance and how much Rocket Power sucked. It's a lot.

We flew too high, friends. After a stunning chain of good-to-great episodes, this week we are dragged back down to Earth by the albatross around this podcast's neck: The Zeta Project. Graham came down with a mysterious "sickness" but Zack, Mitch and Cameron are here to wonder what they did to deserve this. In between the anguish we discuss whether Jack London wrote The Hatchet (he didn't), if Incineroar is the best new Pokemon (it is), and wonder if Siri is plotting all of our deaths. (She is.)

Remember how we said Static Shock was a stinker? We were idiot children. Marvel as we reach new depths with the utter dreck that is The Zeta Project. On this episode, Mitch tries his best to avoid talking about the episode, Cameron has terrible taste and Graham drinks his weight in motor oil/whiskey.

The team-name-to-be-determined teens we know and love return, in this third issue of derring-do and daring 'do's! Allison Addison AKA Potentia comes face-to-face with iconic and imposing former hero Faraday Us (mayoral candidate) in his sky-high spire, Charlatan and Peregrine II's detective work sets a most clobbersome comedy in motion, and the Iron Curtain commutes to work!!! 

Behold! There, in the window of the comic’d shop! Why, it’s the second issue of Legends of the Watchtower, our actual play bonus podcast of the roleplaying game Masks! Yes, dear reader-listeners, the tale of teens continues in this audio file. MARVEL as our young heroes live their un-masked lives--TREMBLE as Mitchell introduces an accidentally, extremely convoluted piece of background information that might be relevant two story arcs from now--EMPATHIZE with our heroes, as they endure advice and admonishment from their elders! Those are the three verbs you may do. Wait, no, you can also WAIT PATIENTLY for our heroes to roll some dice! (I swear one of them rolls at some point. Listen, it’s just easy to get caught up in the scene, folks.)

The oft-alluded-to secret bonus project arrives! Join us, friends, as Zack, Graham, Cameron, and Emily embark on a tabletop adventure cooked up in the E-Z bake oven that is Mitchell's mind. We're playing Masks, a narrative-first roleplaying system designed by Brendan Conway which captures the spirit of everyone's favorite teen-team superheroism. I'm talking your Young Justice, your Runaways, your New Mutants; come and listen, as our hosts step into the sneakers of Halcyon City's empowered and angsty youth! One of the heroes has a rude tude--but I won't spoil which one! That's all the info you get in this blurb, suckers. You gotta listen to the episode itself for the good stuff.

Happy Holidays, y'all! We got you a BONUS EPISODE! Sorry, you can't return it for store credit. In the spirit of the season, Zack, Graham and Mitch watched the wonderful Christmas episode of the always amazing Batman: The Brave and the Bold. In between the fistfights with Santa robots and Batman reindeer chases we discuss our sordid childhood Christmas habits, the similarities between highly advanced androids and the common duck and Graham is overtaken by the Spirit of Christmas itself! Plus, Michael Caine returns! For, like, a whole minute!

IT'S A BONUS EPISODE, NERDS. After a long delay, you can finally hear Zack, Graham and Mitch discuss fan-favorite Batman flick, Under the Red Hood! It's very good! Mitch reminds us of this several times. In between the familial angst and shocking reveals, we discuss what makes a good Joker, whether Ra's Al Ghul is a secret Dracula and how many wrestling references is too many! (It is one, one is too many.)