Episode 39: Sucky Hogwarts

Return to Halloweentown (2006)

It is always hard to say goodbye, but never has it been harder than the way we were forced to say goodbye to the Halloweentown franchise by watching its fourth installment: Return to Halloweentown. Celebrate the spookiest of seasons with us as we follow a girl who calls herself Marnie (but doesn’t look like her) leaving the nest to go to magic college. Doesn’t that sound like it would be cool? Well, it’s not. Trust us.

Emma asks for very specific humor and can’t tell her own joke.

Lucas writes the movie better and has poor water etiquette.

Talking Points: Non-Canon, The Halloweentown Sequel We Deserve, So Many Questions, WITCH UNIVERSITY, The New Marnie, Debbie’s Disappearance, Poor Sequel Connectivity, Not Enough Class Privilege, Why Is Dylan There?, #Bringbackthebus, Inconsistent Costuming, Grog Goes Hard, ALack of Fiber, Everybody Loves Genies, Grabeel’s Wardrobe, Terrible Anti-Magic Rules, Gwen’s Interludes, Justice for Trolls, Spooky Set Design, The Dumb-inion, The Problem With Periwinkle, Little Cromwell Women, A Word Tornado, Confusing Charm Casting, Doodle Flirting, Bad Chemistry, Terrible At Time Travel, Ridiculous Retcons, Dog Tension, Gwen’s Halloweentown Glow-up, Marnie Demands To Make Herself Hot

Episode 38: The Full Doubtfire

Den Brother (2010)

Alright, quiet down everyone. For the rest of this episode we are holding the talking flower, which means you are legally required to listen to us drone (like a bee) on and on about Den Brother. A truly baffling film where an older brother gains control of a troop of girls under one of the worst run organizations of all time. Join us as we are forced to watch him pretend to be an older woman while manipulating children to make his life easier and use them an excuse to attract the only girl every who is horny for scouting.

Lucas nails an impression and wants you to protect Tina.

Emma wants more wordplay and remembers her scouting days.

Talking Points: D23 reveals, Weird Cinematography, Hockey PTSD, How Is This Not a Dream?, Good Old and Super Old Ingrid, Understandably Busy Single Parent, The Troop is Perfect, The Stupidest Fight Ever, MATISSE, A Confusing and Impossible Suspension, Basket Decoration, The Crazy Haired Yet Unnecessary Villain,The Sporting Goods Store of Insanity, Manipulating Children...In a Fun Way?, A Terrible Makeover, Mall Anarchy, A Confusing Moral, The Goth Queen Rachel, Tina’s Emergence, Camporee Suuucks, #JusticeforKim

Music: “Girl Thing” by Anna Margaret

Episode 37: There Is No Heterosexual Explanation For This

Brink! (1998)

Sorry to make y’all wait on this one a bit longer, but I think after three years we’ve earned a little bit of wiggle room. However, the delay was not because we didn’t want to talk about this movie, quite the contrary. We are beyond stoked to finally bring you our coverage of the absolute DCOM classic: Brink! So come along as we grind down a rail into this story of friendship, betrayal, identity, and obviously rollerblading. Because the nineties were a wild time and this movie is the distillation of exactly why.

Emma loves the formula and wants to join another cult.

Lucas missed out on blading and is ecstatic about the villain.

Talking Points: Brink Can Drink, A Useless Little Sister, Baggy Fashion Only, The Male Rachel, Heavy Rocket Power Comparisons, Incredible Slang, Unsuitable Stunt Double, Terrible Fake Magazines, TEAM X-BLADEZ, The Cokehead Manager, Boarders vs. Bladers, Phat Was Cool, Peruvian Traditions?, Fantastic Pranking Skills, The Biggest Mis-Quote in DCOM History, The Maturity of Brink, Family Finance Trouble, Peter’s Abusive Stepdad, X-Bladez Supervillain Lair, Faking Sick, The Skating Legend, SkateSlutz, Val Moriarty, Out of the Ether, That Bitch, Revolting Road Rash, Losing the Message, An Iconic Milkshake Throw, Insane Music Choices, A Violent Turn, An Unfortunately Sudden Ending

Music: “Give” by The Suicide Machines

Minisode: The Second Annual DCOM Choice Awards

There is a familiar mood on the air, my loyal DCOMrades, and it has the distinct smell of statuette gold! This can mean only one thing…it’s time for the DCOM Choice Awards! The most magical of nights, where we hand out some accolades to the worthiest and least worthy things we have seen in the past year of DCOMs. So come along to laugh, cry, and feel the seething rage of seeing us snub your personal picks. Ah, awards season!

Emma shows her VAH knowledge. Lucas put in a sad amount of effort.

Thank you so much to everyone who voted on twitter for the awards, and if you missed the polls be sure to follow us (@dcomedypodcast) so you can have your voice heard next year!

Episode 36: Devils and Dirtboards

Johnny Kapahala: Back on Board (2007)

After a brief delay, our Johnny Kapahala: Back on Board episode has made it’s way down the mountain! Good thing dirt-boarding isn’t a racing sport. Or is it? Dyllan joins us once again as we cover the more land-based sequel to the even more classic Johnny Tsunami. Honestly, it’s a movie just as zig-zaggy as riding a board down a mountain.

Lucas has terrible hearing and writes Johnny Tsunami fan-fiction.  

Emma thought this sport was fake and freaks out about her bed.

Dyllan forgot to turn off his air conditioning so his audio sounds weird sometimes.

Talking Points: Missing Conflicts, Ridiculous Recasting, Surfing for Bikinis, The Incredibly Dangerous Dirt-boarding, Super Relevant Rocket Power References, Age Issues, JTA’s Three Strikes, A Mature Main Character, Surf-shop/Pray/Love, Everything Happens on the Same Day, Amazing Bully Names, The Trouble With Troy, Val and the Rushed Romance, Business Management, Never Trust Troy, Boarding on the Barge, SHAKY CAM, Johnny the G, Val: Knows What She Wants, Troy’s Commune, Mystery Business Man, Math Whiz, Cops on Parole, Johnny Falls for This, Jared Wants a Child to Die, Groms, Children Rebuild a Store, Sports Finally Happen, An Actual Arrest

Music: “Hold On” by the Jonas Brothers

Bonus Episode 5: The Best in the Country

Susie Q (1996)

I know you all were expecting a normal episode today, but we had some scheduling issues. So instead, we decided to go fishing for charm bracelets in our local river to catch a bonus episode for you all! We finally cover the film fans voted for in our poll, even if we have a lot of trouble actually staying on topic while we talk about it.

Emma loses the location and loves spooky boys.

Lucas forgets his own age and hates the word straddle.

Talking Points: A Germany Joint, Nobody Finished This Movie, Disney Channel Period Pieces, Power Rangers Crushes, Charm Bracelets, A Chappaquiddick Situation, Babies Named Zack, Computer-girl, A Pointless Jurassic Park Detour, Over-Confident Parenting, J. Crew Dad, A Pointless Casper Detour, Throwing Shade at Dan Aykroyd, Canadian Tuxedos, Creepy Janitors, Butt Shots, Dress Destruction, Weather Report Hijinks, Balloon Payments, Heaven is Real, Crazy Sound Design, Old Man Potter Energy, BANK HEIST, Deed Hunting, Nonsensical Police Corruption, Surprising Gun Use, Nothing Feels Solved, The Stupidest Ending

Music: “Susie Q” by Dale Hawkins

Episode 35: A Disney Channel Psychological Thriller

Read It and Weep (2006)

This month’s episode is coming hot of the presses! We decided to pick up a copy of Read It and Weep, expecting to find a pretty standard story of a high-school student getting accidentally famous. What we didn’t expect to find was a character study of a young girl undergoing a mental breakdown and alienating everyone in her life for no reason other than her hallucination telling her to do so.

Emma soldiers on and wants everyone to stop making their own misery.

Lucas re-classifies this movie and tells an embarrassing story about Emma.

Talking Points: A Panabaker Double Feature, 2 Descendants 2 Furious, Her Insane Computer, Low-Rent Zac Efron, Stop Making Jason Dolley a Loser, What Were We Doing in 2006, Canadian Schools, Poetry Problems, Big Sad Boy Energy, The Most Insane Pizza Restaurant, A Confusing Writing Contest, Way Too Supportive Parents, Gotta Keep the Gold, ZAP, A Wasted Lenny, Lightspeed Book Printing, Overestimating the Fame of Authors, Disney Channel Adult Party, Why Is Sawyer So Great?, A Total Mental Breakdown on Live TV, An Unfairly Mean Protest, That Is Not How This Works!, All Ecosystems Go, Seaweed Reaction Shots, Why Is There Sushi At a Pizza Restaurant?

Music: “I Will Be Around” performed by Nick Whitaker

Episode 34: Women and Sandwiches

Freaky Friday (2018)

Listen up audience, just because we are covering Freaky Friday this month, you better not try to get out of listening to this episode to go on an uninteresting scavenger hunt! However, we will allow it so long as you do so to find this massive hourglass we are looking for. Still you should stay in and listen anyway, if only to hear us complain about the confusing decisions the filmmakers made both as a movie and an adaptation.

Lucas brings back his favorite theory and learns a new phrase.

Emma can’t let go of the 2003 movie and would die for Mike.

Mercedes manages to pull off one long con.

Talking Points: An Adaptation Hodge Podge, A Weird Weight Issue, Embarrassing DCOMs, Unnecessarily Animated Credits, Hanging Before School, Magic vs. Puppets, Inconsequential Friends, THE HUNT, The Huge Hourglass, #JusticeforMike, Autotune Crimes, Poorly Transitioned Songs, Magic is Real, 2003 Stereotyping, The Incredibly High Stakes, 2019 Mean Girls, Frog Dissection Attractions, Belly Piercings, Mom/Daughter vs. Daughter/Mom, Unnecessary Fart Humor, DCOM Shooting Location Tour, Lack of Struggle, Hard Parent Truths, A Child with a Balcony, Freaky Saturday, Torrey Did Nothing Wrong, Saying Tool on Disney Channel, The Hunt Makes No Sense, Random Body Positivity, Special Agent Jethro Gibbs, What Does the Audience See?!

Music: “Oh, Biology” by the Cast of Freaky Friday

Episode 33: On the Cutting Room Floor

Camp Rock (2008)

It may not be Summer quite yet, but you better pack your bags, your musical instrument of choice, and your song book because: we are going to Camp Rock! Come with us as we travel back to the romantic time of 2008 and relive the film that re-introduced the world to Demi Lovato and helped to light the wildfire of Jonas Brothers mania.

Emma gets shook by style and is left wanting more.

Lucas shares some unpopular opinions and uses the wrong name.

Marissa relives her Jonas Brothers obsession.

Talking Points: Descendants 3 Trailer, Pre-gap or Post-gap, JoBros Mandala Effect, Triple Sunglasses, Disney Channel Scandal, The Demi Smile, The Thinness of Tess Tyler, Apologies to Kevin Jonas, Joe vs. Nick Girls, The Little Mean Girls, Lunchroom Set Design, Sensual Cupcakes, Second Breakfasts/Bad Editing, Misdirected Deception, Connect Three Prequel Movie, Food Fight Tease, The Most Romantic Scene, That’s Chappie, Caitlyn’s Music Rights, Purity Rings, Who’s on Jonas, Romantic Canoe Rides, Tears of a Jonas, Confusing Bracelet Ploys, A Moment of Light, The Dream Tour

Music: “Start the Party” and “This is Me” by the Cast of Camp Rock

Episode 32: May the Road Rise Up to Meet Ya

The Luck of the Irish (2001)

St. Patrick’s Day may have passed, but the heart of the Emerald Isle still beats strong in our chests. So, we are going to express our heritage loud and proud this month by reviewing The Luck of the Irish. Join us as we follow the rainbow to find the pot of gold at the end, even if instead of gold we find confusing Leprechaun logic and a surprising amount of American propaganda.

Emma bashes her heritage and is obsessed with pit stains.

Lucas flexes his Irish accent and does a one-man show.

Austin realizes he knows nothing about Leprechauns.

Talking Points: American Dream Propaganda, Offensive Costuming, The Last Merriman, Unnecessary Narration, Hello to Mr. Hoen, Sports Is Happening Now, Horror Movie Parents, Searching for Johnsons, Kyle is an Idiot, A Non-Copyrighted Lucky Charm, A Random Irish Festival, The Original “What Are Those”, Backpack Anxiety, Leprechaun Biology, Bianca/Debbie/Bonnie, A Crowd Bullies a Child, The Dad Should Be Way More Concerned, Leprechaun Lessons, Are All Irish People Leprechauns?, Austin Powers Chase, A Conflict of Leprechaun Interest, Reilly O’Reilly, Holding Irish Grudges, Disney Channels Confronts Slavery, Leprechauns Are Wizards Now, A Classic Cleveland Crossover, Cleveland Is a Punishment

Editor’s Note: We were trying out a new recording software and, while it worked pretty well, it did result in a little audio weirdness at times.

Music: “When Irish Eyes Are Smiling” performed by Foster & Allen

Episode 31: Stop Saying Daddy

Cow Belles (2006)

We decided to review Cow Belles this month because you all are a bunch of spoiled, inconsiderate jerks and wanted you to learn something. Now, I know that nothing about the way you behave or act indicates this, but that doesn’t stop everyone from being mean to Aly & AJ so take that! Come and change your ways by experiencing all the fun stuff this movie has…like business management and FDA regulations.

Lucas makes a weird analogy and does a great accent.

Emma loves manipulating men and wants the movie to be about something else.

Talking Points: The Kim Possible Movie, Lack of Tension, Clueless Shame, The Actor from Everything, The Incredibly Obvious Villain, Butterfly Collecting, A Confusingly Dead Mom, What is a Cotillion?, Ridiculous Party Budget, Accidental Arson, An Uncle Joey Situation, Everyone is Mean to Teenagers, Aly and AJ Never Sing, Mess Humor, Power Point Pacing, Scrounging for Footage, FIND ANYTHING, No Drama, A Random Pizza Scene, The Worst Rich Girls, A Rain Man Reference, Completely New Character Traits, Stop Having Animal Births , Farmer’s Only, Fill-ippe, Pointless Scenes, FDA Regulations, Stealing the Spotlight, The Bad Guy Wins, Alternate Endings

Music: “On the Ride” by Aly and AJ

Episode 30: Bullying And Cheating Are Cool?

Genius (1999)

The DCOMedy crew is many things, but one thing we definitely aren’t is smart or athletic. Well sure enough, here comes Genius to judge our abilities of being both. Join us for a film that has kind of aged poorly, as we discover why they don’t really show it anymore as well as a theoretical particle that will change the future of humanity forever! But that’s really more of a side thing to cringey school scenes and hockey.

Lucas has trouble pronouncing names and teaches science. 

Emma finds a new crush and wants to talk about Flubber. 

Dyllan opens a new corner.

Talking Points: The Cringe, The Black Sheep of 1999, Rufus Revealed, Dad Boyle, Off-Screen Mothers, English Please, Blades vs. Skates, New Chicagoronto, Soufflé Machines, Computers + Pipes = Science, Broken Homes, A Man Named Bear, PIFFWHIFFER, The Bluntest Man, Confusing Living Situations, Adults Bullying Children, Chazzing It Up, Easy Enrollment, Johnny Bahama Vomit, Krickstein Don’t Care, Goin Psycho, The Dad Knows Nothing, Tutoring Trope, Smelling Hair, Chaz Bourne, A Horrible Accident, Paying the Water Bill, Everyone Laughs at a Wounded Child, Charlie Is Actually Nice, Invalid Nuns, Claire-zer Soze, Charlie Doesn’t Explain Anything, Everybody Hates Charlie, Claire Does Nothing Wrong, Krickstein Saves the Day?, The Game Continues, Junior High Genius

Music: “The Hockey Song” by Stompin’ Tim Connors

Bonus Episode 4: A Special Place

Life-Size (2000)

Sorry your Christmas present ended being a little late everyone, but since Life-Size 2 just came out, Eve dolls were on back order. But still, we wanted to celebrate the long-awaited sequel by going back to the original tale of friendship, love, and the crushing weight of a dead loved one driving you to study the dark arts. Ya, know: kids’ stuff!

Emma looks into the eyes of a proud husky and reveals her secret desires.

Lucas can’t get over the money and feels like a creep.

Talking Points: Lohan Appreciation, Off-Brand Dennis Leary, Broke Ass Font, Microchips: What Every Girl Wants, Female Football Trailblazer, Legal Drama, Balto Lore, Wolf of the Wonderful World of Disney, Etch-a-Sketchy, Magic Websites, Frisco Vibes, Teaching Kids About Pentagrams, These Children Are Demons, Casey Got Cash, Drew’s Games, American Girl Psycho, This Is All Drew’s Fault, Eve’s Agency, Seatbelt!, DRESS-UP MONTAGE, Eve’s Mission, Workplace Massages, Pore-less, The Best Band in The Universe, An Extremely Inappropriate Joke, A Dead Mom Has Purpose, 100 Watt Smile, Nobody’s Perfect, Tiny Backpacks, Eve Leaves

Music: “Be a Star” Performed by Tyra Banks, and “C’est la Vie” by B*Witched

Episode 29: The Wrath of Lucas

Avalon High (2010)

All right folks, time to gather round the table (get it?) and listen as we rant and rave about the insane roller-coaster that is Avalon High. It’s a film that has a lot going for it: a good cast, a solid source material, and loads of intrigue. However, the thing that truly makes it worth talking about is how it somehow manages to completely ruin all of it.

Lucas gets way too hot on this topic and almost loses his voice.

Emma is underwhelmed by the romantic lead and makes a YouTube video essay.

Talking Points: This Looks Expensive, Avalon High Stans, The Kim Possible Trailer, Allie “New Girl” Pennington, The Worst Professors, Mysterious Boxes, Definitely Not Maryland, So Many Running Montages, DCOM Ezra Miller, All Practices Happening Simultaneously, The Order of the Bear, If You Are Young With a Cane You Are Evil, FRIEND BURGERS, Reincarnation Relocation, Vampires???, Marco’s Bad Boy Antics, Molly Quinn Deserves an Oscar, Locker Acting, Meteor Shower + Eclipse = Arthur, Everyone Knows, The Football Team Breaks Bad So Fast, Something For the Ladies, Buckle Your Seat-belts, Mysterious Green Lighting, Anticlimactic Relationship Resolution, Missed Theatre Opportunities, The Dumbest Plot Twist, The Backup QB Crushes It, All of Our Money Is Tied Up in Horses

Music: “Battlefield” by Jordin Sparks

Episode 28: This Should Have Been a Dream

Jett Jackson: The Movie (2001)

We have quite an interesting movie for all of you this month. Every time you think it’s gonna zig? It zags. Although I guess that is to be expected from the kind of superspy theatrics on display in Jett Jackson: The Movie. Come along as we dive into a movie that goes so meta with its concept of different realities that by the end you won’t even know what’s real anymore…

Luke knows nothing about this show and had portal problems.

Emma reinforces gender roles and wants more romance.

Talking Points: Life Size 2, Rear Memento, Blowing Past Sadness, Disney Channel’s First Crackhead, This Movie Is So Meta It Can’t Be Criticized, A Life With Derek Feel, Is This The Finale?, The Space-Time Nonsense Machine, Just Ask Her!, Sudden Proms, Get That Money, JettBucks, The Most Insane Premise, Great Grandmothers, CHICAGO IS GONE, Silverstone Based School System, Everybody Hates Jett, New Canada City, The Leather Budget, Scraping the Dimension Hole, Law and Order: Silverstone, A Rad Fight Scene, Cargo Goons, Old People in DCOMs Are Magic, An Extensive Rendition of the Itsy Bitsy Spider, Kayla x Jett OTP, Everybody Loves Jett Again…for No Reason, Cost Effective Force Fields, A Trio of Jacksons, and A Nonsensical Solution

Music: “Jett Jackson Theme” by Youngstown

Episode 27: Risking It for The Biscuit

Halloweentown High (2004)

It is that time of year once again my friends…the spooky season is upon us! While this may just mean it’s a time of candy and costumes to you, for us it means it’s time to return to Halloweentown again. Not literally of course, they don’t have the budget for that this year. With Halloweentown High, we are going all in on the mortal world this time; much like Marnie is going all in with some guy she just met. Because clearly she never learns anything, including more magic.

Emma forgets her love and has to be open about her drunkenness.

Luke writes some fanfiction and reads into the movie way too much.

Talking Points: Lack of Recap, Stellar Spooky Sets, More Confusing Halloween Creatures, Debbie Reynolds Continues to Slay, Gwen Cromwell: Halloweentown Heartthrob, Sophie Gets Screwed, Magic Mary Magdalene, Frightening Fashion, Aggie Can’t Teach, Halloweentown Math and Science, Creepy Cody, The Rad Clubhouse, Marnie Has Learned Nothing, A Very Confusing Romance, A Million Red Flags, Sophie Misses Everything, Marnie vs. Aggie, Dylan Actually Matters for One Second, Magical Cell Phone Prisons, Aggie’s Dramatic Reveals, Marnie Putting It All on the Line, Disappointing Halloween Costumes, Reveal Fails, Another Fast and Unsatisfying Ending

Music: “Strange World” by Jessie Payo

Episode 26: It's Just Not.

Dadnapped (2009)

Folks…our only real hope for this episode is that you can find some enjoyment in our deep descent into sorrow and exhaustion as we discuss the cinematic blunder that is Dadnapped. A marvel of mistakes, poor decision-making, and an apparent lack of effort. Yup, this is a bad one folks, so bad that by the end we are basically just praying for the chance to kill one of the main characters with our bare hands.

Emma needs to apologize and decided to fix her shower curtain.

Lucas knows what he’s about and loses control of his voice.

Talking Points: Rapid Fire News, Good Actors Made Bad, Melissa Has A Serious Mental Illness, Dentist Secret Agents, Word Wham, Nobody Is Giving This 100%, Jason Earles: Human Time Capsule, Making Messes, Too Much Goop Not Enough Space, Who The Hell is Deb?, FLOSS, The Nappers Demand Nothing, Messy Continuity, Double Dadnappings, Missing Scenes, Lip Gloss Payoff, Goop War, Secret Agent Sexism, Tripp Zoome’s Mortality, We’re All Phoning It In, If This Movie Got Made You Can Do Anything

Music: “Hero in Me” by Emily Osment

Episode 25: What The Heck Are Those Two Doing In A Tree?!

High School Musical (2006)

It is finally time everyone. The stakes are high, but our excitement is higher. We are celebrating our monumental two-year anniversary by reviewing High. School. Musical. And of course by review, I mean we mostly just quote the best lines and shout WHAT TEAM? WILDCATS in your ears the whole episode. 

Lucas loves Corbin Bleu and gets cast to dub over Gabriella. Emma gets location vindication and wants to see some shirtless dudes.

Talking Points: A Cultural Phenomenon, Our HSM Obsession, The Problem with Gabriella, Karaoke Russian Roulette, Fate’s Role in HSM, Constant State of Pep Rally, Sharpay Evans: An Icon, Coach Bolton and Ms. Darbus Are Dead, Pink Jelly?, CELLITARY CONFINEMENT, Chad’s Armpit Hair, Search the Internet, Wildcat Spirit, The Bolton Estate, Bad Audition Montages, Ryan Is Gay, Our HSM 4 Pitch, Zeke: The Purest Boy, Troy’s Sex Garden, Coach Cockblock, Theatre Interventions, Chad’s Watches, Gabriella’s Terrible Songs, WTF Is A Scholastic Decathalon?, Troy Bolton: Basketball Messiah,These Kids Commit A Crime, Kelsey Disappears For No Reason, Rapid-Fire Ending

Minisode: The 2018 DCOM Choice Awards

You may remember that for our anniversary last year we decided to hand out some awards for the movies we had watched in the past year of viewing, and we've decided to do it again! However, this time we decided to take up a whole hour of your life this time so we could make the DCOM Choice Awards bigger and better than ever! So come along and see where the night takes us. Laugh, cry, and of course get angry about how wrong we are and how much you disagree with our opinions. 

Emma gets heated on an old topic. Lucas learns too much about his sister.

Thank you so much to everyone who voted on twitter for the awards, and if you missed the polls be sure to follow us (@dcomedypodcast) so you can have your voice heard next year! 

Bonus Episode 3: This Is Prime Time Baby

My Date With the President's Daughter (1998)

After a long wait, the DCOMedy crew finally sits down to give you the presidential treatment with a bonus episode on My Date With The President's Daughter. Join us as we discuss a film that is basically a DCOM but a little more adult since it was made for ABC. What that means is it turns out to essentially be a poorly conceived romantic comedy narrative where the writers just tried to make crazy thing after crazy thing happen to our leads. 

Emma really wants to talk about the West Wing and misses CD stores. Lucas’ audio got a little messed up and does a Southern accent.

Talking Points: A Surprisingly Catchy Song, The Wonderful World of Disney, President Prickly, CanadAmerica, Your Move Sorkin, Friedle’s Hair, Weird Obsessions, A Big White House, Houdini Posters, A Harry Potter Situation?, He Should Recognize Her, Teenage Passion, Boss Hog, Political Fundraising: What Kids Crave, CLUB ALIEN, Tracey Hungers, Magic Pays Off, Washington’s Infestation of Jazz Bands, Poor Explanations, A Phone-book is Crucial to the Plot, Too Many Car Chases, Things Get Rapey, A Full-On Fist Fight, The Worst Green Screen

Music: "My Date With the President's Daughter" by The Presidents of the United States of America