Poor little Daniel can’t catch a break. He’s found a cool mirror on a planet, puts his greasy archaeologist hand on it, and whoops, ends up in a parallel universe where things are going sideways in a hurry. O’Neill’s a general, Hammond’s a mere colonel, Sam isn’t in the military and Teal’c has just the most incredible hair. Also, he’s a bad guy, and is currently in the process of annihilating human civilization, because this is the universe where Daniel told Catherine to get bent and walked out of her car. And also other things.

We’ll talk about Alternate Clinton and the brief tenure of President Gore, Goa’uld motherships and what counts as a landing platform exactly, General O’Neill and his lack of character development, tossing your whole planet away to help some guy from an alternate universe, Catherine being so nice and good and awesome and pure, and we finally, FINALLY, get someone sending a nuke through the Stargate.

Daniel Jackson death count: 4

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