Episode 93: The Bean Bonus Room

December 1, 2024

Hey, so did you guys know that November is actually only thirty days long and the day that I planned on posting is actually December? Crazy. Uh, anyway…there’s no easy way to do this…time for Halloween! Yes, take a quick jump back with us as we talk some Twitches. It’s finally time for the Mowry twins to shed a little light on our dull podcast world (like the sun and the moon one could say) as we discuss just how wonderful their performances are in an otherwise kinda bonkers movie. What can ya say, these girls somehow make it all work. Go Twitches, Go Twitches, Go Twitches!

Emma is willing to kill her brother and goes too deep on the Twitches Wiki.

Lucas isn’t familiar enough with Eddy Murphy’s films and stans Lucinda’s vibe.

Talking Points: Halloween Chili, Knowing What You’re About, A Great Title With Difficulties, Critical Vagueness, Terrible (But Expected) CGI, An Obvious Harry Potter Influence, On The Nose Names, The Ups and Downs of Ileana and Karsh, The Mean Girls’ House, Camryn’s Amazing Parents, A Brief Cast Tangent, Cake In The Morning, Alex’s Life Blows, Yogurt and Candy Corn: Together At Last!, Everybody Dresses Up For Halloween, History Repeats Itself, This Isn’t How Getting Hired Works, Jumping To (Admittedly Correct) Conclusions, The Most Beautiful Woman In The World, Magical Naming Conventions, That’s A Dealbreaker Ladies, Every Time We Touch, Time Has No Meaning, Necklace Vs. Amulet, Coventry Makes No Sense, Aren’t Sight And Knowing Kinda The Same?, Classic Women: Too Busy Giving Birth To Save The World, Karsh’s Little Binoculars, The Darkness Is The Greatest Threat On Earth…To Plants, The Lost Smoke Monster, JUST TALK TO THEM, The Most Over The Top Obnoxious Guy, All The Wizards Live In Waverly, Disney Channel Catcallers, Licensed Music!, Camryn’s Hard Pass, Tia’s Time To Shine, A Not Lit Enough Party, Beth Becomes Bitchin’, Terrible ADR, Alex’s Weird Move During A Fight, The Statue Street Performer, The Craziest Background Costume We’ve Seen In Awhile, Wardrobe Malfunctions Were So Hot In 2005, Mrs. Barnes: My Woman King, There Were Some Tears On This Watch, You Guys Are A Couple?!, What. Ever. (Major.) Loser., The Gloves Stay On During Sex, Light Is Definitely The Opposite of Darkness, This Dimension Has Chicken Wings!

Music: “Rush” by Aly and AJ

Episode 92: The Emotions Stick

November 4, 2024

Thank you for your patience everyone! It’s finally time to end the Summer of Sequels…in October. Oh, wait. It’s actually November now, huh? Sorry we kinda skipped Spooky Season, but before we can catch up we still have to give a certain band of brothers their time to shine. That’s right, the Lawrence Bros. are back, and this time the whole trio’s here! Indeed, Matthew Lawrence joins his brothers for this one as they journey down under to fight off a band of modern day pirates while trying to survive on a deserted island! I promise it isn’t as cool as it sounds on paper.

Lucas won’t shut up about his research and fails at accents like always.

Dylan is too excited about these brothers and defends the TV show Lost.

Talking Points: The Boys/The Bros Are Back, More Like Jumping Shit, Poolside Corn, The Sort-of Sequel, This Crazy Thing Called The Internet, The Ultimate Villain: Tommy’s Neighbor Mark, The Roxanne Enigma, Michael Doesn’t Know How Jobs Work, Nepotism At Its Finest, The Fall of Joey Lawrence, Deserving To Be Robbed, Pirates As Skilled As Matt Damon, The World’s Fattest Wallet, Villain Names, The Audacity of Jake Hunter, “The Warden”, The World’s Greatest Cellphone, The Crocodile Hunter Vs. Crocodile Dundee, Disney Channel Tackling Native Tribes, The Mid-Ocean Credit Check, A DCOM Boat Chase, Sinking Your Own Boat, What Day Is It?, Scaring The People You’re Saving, HEATHER HITT, Jake’s Got A Lot Of Baggage, The Mark Arc, So Much Spearfishing, Unconvincing Animal Encounters, Chekov’s Flare, A Sunk Cost, A Prolonged Conversation About A Cliff, The Worst Escape Plan, Gotta Have That Life Jacket, The Pirates Get So Weird, Sleeping Mid-Kidnapping, The Ultimate Twist, Never Take A Pirate At Their Word, Ghillie Suit Memories, Who Ordered Pizza?, Everest Comes Out of Nowhere, Epic Screams, The Quickest Business Plan Ever Devised

Music: “Castaways” by McPaul Smith, Leslie Valdes, Evan Lurie, and Douglas Wieselman. Performed by The Cast of The Backyardigans.

Episode 91: The Peak of Cringe Mountain

September 30, 2024

Wow! Life is really crazy, huh? You start out thinking your big anniversary episode is just gonna be a little bit late because you had to push your recording back, and then you have a bunch of computer problems that make it take longer! Well, it may pretty much be Fall at this point, but we aren’t ready to leave Summer Camp yet. We still have to dive into the climactic finale to the Camp Rock saga at the The Final Jam. How will our favorite campers fare against their new rivals? What is going on with Shane and Mitchie’s relationship? Will the soundtrack continue to be filled with wall-to-wall bangers? Listen in and prepare to be disappointed by the answers to all of these questions…and more!

Emma stands up for her girl Peggy and reads a lot of Wikipedia on air.

Lucas knows a virtuoso any day and is shocked by his sister’s maturity.

Talking Points: Righting a Wrong, Behind The Scenes Drama, A Sequel Made ASAP, A Soundtrack Downgrade, Stylistic Changes, Are Connect 3 Brothers?, The Camp Rock Fandom Is Dying, Demi’s New Look, Camp Star Is Just Here Now, The Beloved Characters We Kinda Remember, The Tragedy of Tess Tyler, Revenge Bangs, A Disney Channel Bus Crash, A Large Amount of Breakdancing, Respect The Fedora, We Have Brain Problems, Brown Deserves Jail Time, Crazy Frog Cameo, 95% Mouth, NICK X DANA, Camp Star Sucks, This Man’s Vibes Are Awful, Camp Rock Is Not The Underdog, Instructor vs. Counselor, Kevin Crushes Comedy, Birdhouse Resolution, A Good Old Fashioned Lake Piano, Camp Rock: Brown’s Tax Shelter, The World’s Quietest Jet Ski, Man Is Mad Woman Is Busy With Job, Log Butt, CGf-I-reflies, The Infamous March, Audio Mix Issues, Who Would Watch This Event?, The Pete Best Humor In Town, Is Mitchie Shane’s Girlfriend?, The Obvious Water Fight, Frankie Jonas Cinematography Slaps, Mitchie Is In The Right, Are You Singing To Each Other?, The Movie Gives Up, Morally Shane Grey, Why Does This Need To Be A Duet Now?, This Is Super Rigged, Locked-In Audience Members, An Argument About Playground Equipment, Romantic Flag Folding, A Bittersweet Ending

Music: “It’s On” performed by the Cast of Camp Rock

Minisode: DCOM Choice Awards - Battle Royale

August 1, 2024

Terribly sorry for our brief broadcast delay, but the time is now! Yes, after putting it off for so long, you can at last dress up in your best outfit for the red carpet and prepare yourselves for the night of nights. That’s right, we are finally returning to the DCOM Choice Awards!!! And this time it is bigger than ever, as we have movies across multiple seasons all competing against one another…a classic Battle Royale if you will. So join us as we make some difficult choices, try to justify our own bad opinions, go off on a fair number of tangents, and do our absolute best to give you the ultimate celebration of what makes all the DCOMs so exciting to talk about! Which isn’t the same as all of them being good, but you have to take what you can get in this world.

Emma worries she has brain trauma. Lucas needs to explain himself.

Thank you so much to everyone who voted for these awards! If you missed the polls, be sure to follow us on X/Twitter (@dcomedypodcast) so you can have your voice heard next time!

Episode 90: My Brain Hurts

July 15, 2024

Woah, sorry gang! We were having a little too much fun at the beach and I guess we forgot to put this episode out on time. Although you can’t really blame us, we needed some rest and relaxation after everything this movie put us through. You see, Teen Beach 2 is by no means the worst movie we have ever watched, but it is possibly the strangest? Trust us, you will struggle to comprehend almost every single thing that happens in it and be left with only a wicked headache to show for it. So if you were hoping for some simple summery vibes, then I’d recommend looking elsewhere…

Emma can’t see anything and gets called out for her prejudices.

Lucas reveals his shameful South Park past and is a Chee-Chee stan.

Talking Points: Dropping The “Movie”, Dropping The Calvin-Ball, Grease 2, Better Sequel Ideas, Soundtrack Sins, The Wasted Ensemble, Continuity Confusion, California v. Hawaii, Shalom!, Confusing Extra Costumes, Failures of Friends, The Insane Beachside Workshop, Brady’s Mom Is Here?!, A Relationship Destroyed In Under a Day, Brady Does Music?, Campiness Clashing, Lela’s Whole Deal Is A Mess, Tanner Is Also A Mess, Missed Opportunities, Segways: The Best Transportation In 2015, Nothing Is More Fun Than Watching Characters Being Bored, What Do Tanner & Lela Know?!, Fictional Characters Are Great At Math, We Will Never Stop Referencing The Bratz Movie, 1960’s Lunchrooms, Proper Nutrition For Girls, Madame Web Level ADR, They Aren’t Actors!, The Wettest Jeans, This Just Sucks, The Dance Is Today?!, Hijacking An Entire Band, Movie Over…Right?, Resolving The Stupidest Storyline Ever, Save The Movie To Save Your Relationship, There Is No Time For Singing! Breaking Your Own Rules, Putting Women On The Sidelines, THE ENDING

Music: “Best Summer Ever” By The Cast of Teen Beach 2

Episode 89: RRR - Rhea's Rad Revenge

June 2, 2024

Sorry this one needed a couple extra days in the lab, but here is the final mix all about Spin! We may have been skeptical about this DCOM being able to land with us, but we ended up having a great time. At least we did when we weren’t forced to waste time talking about pizza drones and restaurant management. Though really, this is a story about one thing: revenge. It’s always satisfying to see a cocky British man get his comeuppance, and my god do they nail that here. It’s a story all about love, grief, creativity, family…and yes DJing. There is a lot of DJing so be prepared for that.

Lucas knows an Aussie when he hears one and faces his future.

Emma really wants to play Beetlejuice music and will deport you.

Talking Points: Good Movie But Bad Title, A Celebration of Spite, One Friend Too Many, The Next Zendaya?, Is This Canada?, What Is This Pen-Kid’s Deal?, Don’t Watch This Movie Hungry, A DCOM About Child Labor, Crypto Burn, DJ Luka Cent, Dinner And A Show, THE SHERLOCK HOLMES TANGENT, Watson’s Vibe, The Rarest Combination: Nice/Popular, What Exactly Is Coding Club?, Too Much Business, Brought To You By Big Pizza, An Unfortunate Representation Choice, Blacklight Parties, They Actually Teach Us About DJing, Max Needs To Read The Room, Listen To Your Ancestors Rhea, Mommy Issues, A Very Cute Montage, Dating Your Student’s Parents, Black Horse And The Cherry Tree Remix, Feelin’ So Good You Miss Your Shift, Going To A Restaurant For Literally One Bite, Arvind Loses Us, A Same-day Baby Shower, The Festival of Color Really Pops, A (Partially) Unexpected Turn, Load-Bearing Eldest Daughter, One Of The Best Heart To Hearts In DCOM History, Why Wait To Give Her A Message From Her Dead Mom?, The Weird Video Collecting Montage, DCOMedy Correction Segment, Give The Girl A Fun DJ Name!, Male “Apologies”, We All Know The Girl Wins, Mimosas And Samosas

Music: “Feeling Good” By Matan Koplin-Green and “It’s All Music” By Marius de Vries, Pratibha Singh Baghel, Raj Pandit & Lauren Evans

Episode 88: Emma vs. Luke 3 - Rise of RuPaul

April 30, 2024

Sigh…here we are again. It seems as though the Zombies saga will never end, and our intrepid hosts are forever destined to continue talking about it. Even when one of them really doesn’t want to and it’s kind of, sort of, maybe, not really a DCOM! So, do what you can to prepare yourselves for our coverage on Zombies 3. There’s aliens now, and one of the main characters is basically just a screen being held up by a robot. If that level of insanity surprises you, then you are clearly new around these parts. Welcome! If it doesn’t, then you have no one to blame but yourself for actually wanting to listen to this.

Emma is not okay and did way too much independent research.

Lucas will gladly let you scan his privates and can’t stand a certain twist.

Talking Points: Our Father’s Review of Zombies 3, Too Much Going On, Despite All My Rage I’m Still In An Iger-cage, Why Have This Recap?, Way Less Wolves, Aliens Are Just Here Now, Disney Tries To Do A Nonbinary Character, The Most Precious Thing In Seabrook, THE ELIZA ROBOT, Why Do The Aliens Count As Students?, Bree Actually Manages to Be Funny, The Super Special Secret Move That Barely Matters, Seabrook Runs on Fro-Yo, Aliens Are Competitive/Angry/Horny, Is This A Global Warming Thing?, The Very Unsatisfying Explanation of Addison’s Hair, Addison’s Arc Makes No Sense, A Brief Will Smith Digression, Why Is Zombie Stuff Still Gross?, Alien Mind Probes Are The Worst Way To Get Your Crush Revealed, Late Monster Applications, Why Don’t They Run Away?, The Shrimp Always Win, The Curveball Romance, A Potential Teen Beach 2 Situation, Extra-Terrestie, So Glad We Got Robot Romance Closure, Electrocuting A Girl Onscreen, Everyone Sings A Song Not About Them, The Z-Band Corporation Sucks, What Are The Coordinates To Utopia?, The Final Number Is Just For The Credits, Zombies 4 Speculation/News

Music: “Alien Invasion” Performed By The Cast of Zombies 3

Episode 87: Go Home, Henry

April 3, 2024

Well, well, well, it appears the spooky season is upon us once again! So prepare yourselves, mortals for…huh? This episode is actually for March? And it ended up being late so it’s coming out in April and so now it is even further divorced from October? Hm. Uh, okay then. So, despite all of that, we are still gonna be talking about Girl Vs. Monster here I’m afraid. Speaking of fear, this movie’s all about it! Namely in regards to a bunch of monster hunting that definitely isn’t just Ghostbusting, and getting over your stage fright to perform in what turns out to basically be a musical? It’s a wild one, gang.

Lucas stans his beloved and joins the men’s rights movement.

Emma is all about Myra and jams out with the music.

Talking Points: Terrible Titling, Actors Understanding The Assignment, Our Disney Channel Nite Exclusive Review, Some Of The Worst Worldbuilding Ever, The Confusing Cold Open, A Surprise Musical, The Back Nine, THE AWFUL CGI, The Slightly Less Awful Costuming, The Garlic Argument, The Fedora’d Cobb, Unhinged School Day Halloween Costumes, It’s The Second Banner That Gets You, Myra Dies, Ryan’s Insane Garage, Myra’s Donald Duck Injury, Do The Monsters Hurt People?, Sponsored By Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire, What Happened With Her Phone?!, The Villain Is Just A Mean Lady, The Massive Info Dump, Reformed Monster Hunting, The Worst Wig, The Villain Humor Kinda Works, The Bird Shot, It’s Always Sunny In Vancouver, What Is Deimata Doing?, Don’t Make Me Sing *Wink*, A Surprisingly Salacious Showing, Sadie Surprises, Myra Dies Again, Jelly Fingers, Freelance Monsters, Missing The Monster Mash, Have Monsters Gone Public?, The Messy Climax, Steve’s Super Strength, Half-assed Wrap-up, We Talk About Theme Parks Now?

Music: “Fearless” Performed By Olivia Holt

Episode 86: A Dark Twisted Dance Past

February 29, 2024

Yes, dear listeners. I can hear you all now. “What’s this?! an episode being out at a normal time for once?! How can this be?!” Well, it’s just one of the many thing you can accomplish when you open yourself to the power of three little words: SI SE PUEDE! Not every lesson in Gotta Kick It Up rings as true as that one, but more of this film holds up than could be expected of it. While not everything is as strong as it should be, it definitely could be seen as being more than the some of its parts. So, what are you waiting for? Hop in a car, being driven by essentially a stranger without telling your loved ones, and enjoy! This movie makes that seem totally okay to do, so you’ll be fine.

Emma does some hambone and worries about these girls’ safety.

Lucas has a new energy for this one and largely regrets it by the end.

Talking Points: No Cheerleading Here Surprisingly, Not a Lot of America, HOW OLD ARE THESE GIRLS?!, Poor Marisol, A School Store Unlike Any Other, Stand And Deliver Light, A Single Mom Who Works Too Hard, The Dot-Com Bubble, How Easy Is It To Become A Teacher?, The West Wing Embargo Continues, High School Drama Club Stories, The Tragedy of Chuy, The Dance Team Sucks, Super Minor Rules Being Dealbreakers, This Gym Scene Is A Trainwreck, Has Shop Class Ever Existed?, Some Confusing Audition Choices, The Previous Coach’s Sudden Disappearance, It’s Hard Making Dance Look Good Or Bad, What Did She Teach You All?, Disney Would Never Let Them Do This…Right?, Shawshank And Sweet Potatoes, The Easiest Problem To Solve, The Most Biased Judge, Julliard Must Have Really Sucked, This Fight Is Totally Out of Nowhere, A Very Long Story About Our Dad Almost Dying, This Car Wash Slaps, She Should Have Taken Another “Internet Job”, Why/How Did You All Lose Your Pom-Poms?!, Super Abrupt Ending, We Just Kind Of Chat For Awhile

Music: Shake (The Latin Remix) by Charlene Leicra & Ray Cham

Episode 85: No Conflicts, Just Vibes

February 1, 2024

I know, I know, it’s been quite a while fam. But….we are so freaking back! We might be a little rusty, and not super clear about how any of this stuff usually works, but luckily we aren’t taking the stage alone. That’s right, it’s extremely fortuitous for us that everyone’s favorite girl group happen to be staging their grand comeback as well. You guessed it, The Cheetah Girls are here and we are going to SPAIN! Come along as we strut down the streets of Barcelona, meet the locals, and cause a riot with the most chaotic and frenetic concert ever performed. Oh, and rhyme a lot of Spanish words with “Cheetah”.

Lucas battles through illness and missed out on some crazy extras.

Emma sings most of the soundtrack and disrespects a mall.

Talking Points: We’re Back! A DCOMmenator’s Story, Travelling With The Cheetahs, Barcelona Slaps, Is This A Dream?, Are The Cheetahs All Smart, THE QUEEN RETURNS, Juanita’s Gotta Get That Ring, All Green Flags For Luc, The Personification of Fate, Not A Lot Of Fat On This Cheetah, Postcards From The Cheetahs, The Heart of Barcelona, What Is Going On In “Strut”?, Buenos Dias Las Amigas Cheetahs Senoritas, The Hispanic Bong Joon-ho, A Dancing Count, The Most Low-Res Footage Ever Put To Disney+, Kenny Flexes The Choreo, Skinnying The Cat, Marisol’s JeanS/Jorts, Cheetah-Induced Hypnosis, The Weird Ocean Party, Things Need To Happen Now, Galleria’s Exit Strategy, A Dramatic Run To The Train Station, The Cheetahs’ True Enemy: The Costume Designer, The Worst Marriage Proposal On Film, The Enigma of A Club Owner, Spanish Singing Sabotage, Gotta Respect Angel’s Dramatic Timing, So Many Questions About The Weird DJ/Musician Act, The Musical Performance Of The Century, The Disappointing Alternate Ending

Music: “A La Nanita Nana” by Belinda and The Cheetah Girls

DCOMedy Anniversary Update 2023

August 31, 2023

Hello everyone!

Just wanted to put out a quick update for you in case you missed the announcement in our last episode or are just waiting on our anniversary episode. So take a few minutes to listen in for that info...and also an exciting new announcement!

Thank you so much for listening to us all these years, and we look forward to being able to get back to our usual nonsense as soon as we believe it best to be doing so. You all rule!

Support Sag-AFTRA members on strike here: https://entertainmentcommunity.org/

Art by Christina Imbro (https://twitter.com/Chrimbro_art?s=20)

Episode 84: Navajo Herbs And Spices

August 11, 2023

Sorry about the schedule slippage, but we’ve got just the home remedy. It’s the perfect mixture of a season finale and a the return of a longtime guest! That’s right, Dyllan has returned to help us wrap up our season by chatting all about Buffalo Dreams. A film none of us really wanted to touch, but here we are. So why don’t you journey along with us to weigh-in on the vicious land feud between some white mountain bikers and the Native Americans whose land these “dirtheads” continually trespass on. Luckily, I think that if history any indication, this thing will work out with no issues on either side.

Lucas shares the younger sibling experience and pays for a character’s actions.

Emma can’t stand Scout’s muteness and shares her weight loss secrets.

Dyllan meets his old nemesis once again.

Talking Points: Zigging/Zagging, What Is This Even About?, The Titular Buffalo Dream, As Always: We Know Nothing, Navajo Sign Language, Executive Mandated Mountain Biking, The Horned Up Parents, You Never Leave The Army, Adrienne Bailon Jumpscare, Get Your Son A Nicer Bike!, Why Does Josh Need a Bike So Bad?, Insane Scene 1 of 3, Did They Really Try Every Song?, Buffalo Safety Tips, Child Labor, DCOM Politics, The Secret Buffalo Poacher, Dropping Plots Like Hot Pockets, As Racist As Disney Channel Can Get Away With, Kyle And The Dirt Bike Boys, The Most Sensual Bath A Child Has Ever Taken, This Child Is Waaay To Shirtless, The Most Obscure Joke Ever, A Pretty Dope Potluck, Do These Characters Even Know Each Other?, Moon’s Understatement Of The Century, Josh Keeps Ruining His Parents’ Vibe, Making Mountain Biking Boring, Teenage Environmental Terrorism, DCOM Drinking And Driving, Emergency Graffiti Supplies, Chucking These Kids In The Woods, Disney Channel Says: Give Children Knives, Schrodinger’s Chekov’s Cave, Being Mad At Surviving, Definitely Not Visions, The Nature Retreat Changes Nothing, Braceface Henchman’s Big Day, Navajo Steroids, Death Mountain, THE ATTEMPTED MURDER, Josh’s Coma, The Iconic Basketball Coaching Lesbian Doctor, Pawn Shop Mirages, Are Buffalo Or Humans The Villain Here?, Setting Adrienne Free

Music: “Lean On Me” by Bill Withers

Without the labor of the writers and actors currently on strike, the film covered here wouldn’t exist. #SAGAFTRAstrike #SAGAFTRAstrong

Support the Entertainment Community Fund for struggling strikers here: https://entertainmentcommunity.org/ or help them out with some refreshments on the picket lines by donating here: https://actionnetwork.org/fundraising/the-snacklist-support-striking-workers

Episode 83: In Todd We Trust

July 25, 2023

Ready yourselves listeners. For as long as anyone can remember, a war has been raging between the settlements of East and West Appleton. Now, the final chapter in this war is fast approaching. The battlefield? A bowling alley. It’s soldiers? A bunch of absolute lunatics who are obsessed with the 1950s. Normally I’d say it is cooler than it sounds on paper, but not so much with this one. We were really excited to dig into Alley Cat’s Strike! since so many seem to remember it quite fondly, but it ended up being a bit of a gutterball in our opinion….

Emma brings back her signature segment and relives her past.

Lucas feels like he’s on crazy pills and finds his ideal afterlife.

Talking Points: A Classic…Stinker?, The Deadly Apple Drinking Game, Our Strange Heroes, Team Todd All Day, East And West: The Ultimate Rivalry, FREEZE FRAMES: THE ULTIMATE VILLAIN, A Wild Kaley Cuoco Appears (With Her Original Nose), Unnecessary Friends, Thrift King Alex, The Worst Diner I’ve Ever Seen, Big Wisconsin Energy, The Most Ridiculous Competition, No Beef Necessary, Everybody Loves Sweet Lou, Terrible ADR, Debbie Desperado, Whipsaw McGraw, The Ultimate Prank, Why Does Everyone Doubt The Bowling Team?, The Real Alley Cat Strike, Crazy Bowling Animations, The Jazz Pattern, Upping The Ante, Behind The Scenes Trivia, An Absolutely Sick Non-Alcoholic Teen Party, Bowling Computer Simulations, Guppy Troup, Poor Bubba, The Ivan Drago School Of Bowling, No Way That School Is Getting Finished In Time, Terrible Fake Bowling, A Confusing Ploy, Sucked In By The Swing, What Exactly Is “Real” Bowling?, Singing For Your Supper, Cool Cats/Hot Dogs, Doing Local Radio Ads, Betrayal With No Fallout, The Shades Stay On, Disappointing T-shirts, Unnecessary Tarps, Anti-Climactic Conflict Resolution, “Tragic” Backstories, Bowling on Crutches, The Worst Entrance Ever, Pulling One’s Ball, The Absolutely Baffling Final Competition, Unleashing The Chaos Gremlin

Music: “Right Down The Middle” by Bill Elliott and The Bill Elliott Swing Orchestra

Episode 82: Creepy Nightmare Hole

July 3, 2023

Whoops! Sorry we were a little late on this one, hope it didn’t turn your world upside-down or anything. Then again, I kind of hope we did because this episode is about everything upside-down! That’s right we are going back to Modern Movie May (in June?) for Upside-Down Magic. So join us as we enter a magical world…I think? Like, it’s not super clear how magical the world actually is or how much people know about it. Also the “magic” isn’t so much like spells and is more like superpowers? I understand that doesn’t sound THAT enticing, but it’s mostly more than the sum of its parts.

Lucas nails his kitten impression and stans his man Skriff.

Emma can’t stand Reina and accuses a character of Naszism.

Talking Points: A True Classic, Where YA Tropes Go To Die, The Immediately Dead Mom, How Does Magic Work In This World?, Sapphic Cinematography, Magic Is Just Superpowers, SPARKLE FIRBALL, Everything Is Kittens, Coming Home For Thanksgiving, The Disappointing Bad Boy, Get In The Portal Babies, Knightslinger Is Serving, The Insanity Of The Magic School, “The Sage Way”, The Messenger Bag Debate, Calm Down Nory, The Very Out Of Place Fart Joke, How Does Shadow Magic Work?, Getting Your Dreams Crushed, Professor Argon And Her Popcorn Obsession, The Very Cool But Impractical Set, Confusing Uniforms, Why Would They Have Brooms?, Nory’s Iffy Drawings, This School Is Canonically Incompetent, Selling Your Soul…On Accident?, It’s The Hope That Kills You, Big Yoga Dad Energy, Playing With The Cards You Are Dealt, Immediately Revealing Your Evil Plan, A Very Marvel Ending, Children Are In Danger! Do Something!, A Lackluster Wrap-up

Music: “Upside Down” by The DNC (feat. Yoni)

Episode 81: Be Kind To The Blind

June 1, 2023

Content Warning: Due to topics within the film it is discussing, this episode contains topics relating to eating disorders and bullying people with disabilities. Listener discretion advised.

Hey there! Thought we forgot about you, huh? Don’t worry, we may have been delayed for quite a while, but we are finally ready to go to the mat with you all! Although by “being ready” I actually mean we are woefully unequipped to cover most of this movie’s subject matter. Luckily for you all, that has literally never stopped us before. So come on and listen in to us try and do the best we can…and still probably failing pretty hard!

Emma refuses to acknowledge “Fly” and finds her new political platform

Lucas definitely has a film degree and doesn’t get the weight classes.

Talking Points: Wrestling Does Not Cure Blindness, Our Family Shame, WE DON’T KNOW ANYTHING, New York City Baybee…Actually We’re Goin’ to Utah, We Start A New Podcast, Why Does No One Know About Blind People?, His Mom Should Have Gone In With Him, Wayne Brady Destroys A Child, A Man Trying His Best, Whose Wayne Brady Is It Anyway?, Angry Cane Acting, John Is No Bueno At Español, A Convenient Yet Harrowing Fire Drill, The Blind Jokes Aged Horribly (But Were Also Never Good), The Weird Airport/Tea Room Scene, The New Alt-Right Movement: Wrestling Is Woke Now (And Also Blind Kids Should Go Back To New York), We Are So Great At Recapping Wrestling, The General Prohibition Sign, Wrestle Dancing?, Mean Girls Style Parents, The All-Access Press Pass For High School Sports, Gross Wrestling Faces, The Least Disney Channel Kiss Ever, The Third Act Drop Off, The Ultimate Sign of Popularity: A Jeep Full of Dudes, The Dark Eating Disorder Plot, Sexual Silly Glasses, Balling The Coach’s Daughter, None Of Our Family Can Listen To This, A Main Character Commits A Crime, The Weird Final Shot

Music: “Going To The Mat” by Russell Kunkel and Katisse Buckingham

Episode 80: Hottie Harry Hook

April 1, 2023

Okay all you goody-goods and vile villains, it’s time to return to Auradon once more! That’s right, we are headed back to everyone’s teen-centric fairy tale realm for the middle chapter of one of Disney Channel’s hottest franchises in recent memory: Descendants 2! The villain kids are back, and we even get some new ones! So listen in as they find themselves facing new threats of great expectations, the big dance, and…pirates? I know that sounds out of place, but trust us it’s actually kinda cool.

Emma gets Vespa envy and wants more swordfights.

Lucas is ready to die for Mevie and refuses to try rhyming.

Talking Points: Everybody Loves Descendants, The Swinging Pendulum of Effort, Hi Dove!, The Incredible Yet Pointless Opening, We Miss You Cameron, Yet Another Wheelchair Kid, Weird Worldbuilding, The Real Villain Is Expectations, Chad’s Back, Why Are The 7 Dwarves Getting So Laid, More Doug (Boo!), Less Doug (Yay!), Ben Is Better, Fencing Parkour, Don’t Mess With Lonnie, Don’t Teach The Youth About The Friendzone, Mal Deals Carlos Some “Truth”, THE TALKING DOG NONSENSE, Poor Useless Gil, Ocean Racism, Smee Can Get It, Magic Mike Mushrooms, Mal Is Bad At Things, The Never-Mentioned Secret Apartment, Mal’s Boyfriend And Girlfriend Team-up, Little Sister Dizzy, The Worst Business Strategy Imaginable, The Gum Incident, A Classic Evil Arm Wrestle, The Plan Comes Together Immediately, The Dual Climaxes, Belle And Beast Are Tyrants, The Gayest Thing Disney Channel Has Ever Made, Why Make Them Rap Battle???, The Dog Payoff, Two Tickets To The Gun Show, Friend Group Girl Talk, The World’s Shortest Practice, Doug Does Nothing Here, Mal’s Dress Sucks, Random Lumiere Cameo, No Subtlety On Disney Channel, Things Would Have Gone Better If The Octopus Was Bigger, Ben Goes Beast Mode…Then Martha Mode, Mal’s Dress Rules Now, Everyone Stops The Teens From Kissing, Water Dancing!

Music: “Chillin Like A Villain” Performed by the Cast of Descendants 2

Episode 79: A Dog Fart To The Face

March 4, 2023

Well, I hope the wait for this one didn’t fill you all with anticipation or anything, because we’ve got quite a “unique” DCOM for you this month. Not only because of its whole vignette thing, but there’s just something in its very DNA that just feels…off? It’s kind of hard to put into words, so you will just need to listen along to try and understand exactly how it makes you feel. Although, I will give you a hint: the title of this episode is both a reference to the film itself and representative of what it is like to actually watch it.

Lucas respects canine actors and gets to bring back a catchphrase.

Emma faces her mortal enemy and just wants to get through this.

Talking Points: A Bad Word, A.I. Was Developed For DCOMs, Shaking It Up, Using the Title Word Wrong, Out Of Order Stories, Blatant Continuity Errors, The Anonymous High School, The CGIpad, Web-A-Zine?, Brought To You By Wonka, The Dog Is Sentient, The Confusing “Friend” Situation, Braces Representation, Everyone Is Rushing this Project, Picking A Fight With A Dog, A Shaggy Dog Situation, Making Life Is Ruff Look Good, Tony Gawk, Disney Channel Can’t Joke About Male Scarves, Totally Crackin!, Do You Know Those Girls?, Murray Got The Hops, Julianne’s Triple Grift, It All Falls Apart At Once, Shading Up, Eat Your Heart Out Joaquin Phoenix, WHAT IS UP WITH WALKER?, Zendaya Jackson: VP, Jahnn-Franque, GPS Sabotage, The Most Niche News From Lucy Delgoosy, Saving The Worst Vignette For Last, What Are These Rich People?, The Worst Twin Realization Scene Ever, The Rich Girl’s Life Is Obviously The Best, Lahnce Is Here Now I Guess, The Frenemy Pissing Contest, Children Booked A Taco Truck, The Weird Arranged Marriage Between Rich Children, They Don’t Know How To End This Movie…So Let’s Have A Dance Party!

Music: “Pose” by Stefanie Scott and Carlon Jeffery

Episode 78: Sigh Brendy Bru Bromecoming Warrior

February 7, 2023

My dear audience, it’s finally time (after a small delay) to face your destiny and hear all about the greatest warrior of a generation…the one and only: Wendy Wu! It’s a movie that many remember fondly, including one of the hosts, but there is a lot going on here. Frankly the whole thing has left us a little shook, but take a listen and find out for yourself everything this movie has to offer. Oh, and don’t ask about why this episode has such a lame title. All questions of that nature can be directed to Emma.

Lucas gets to flex his power ranger knowledge and feels a little embarrassed.

Emma gives some culinary insight and feels cheated out of the big dance.

Talking Points: Poor Titling, Deep Power Rangers Ties, Good Intentions That Have Aged Poorly, Vibeless Best Friends, Bored Brenda, The Upsettingly Blonde Boyfriend, Wendy’s Significant Chunk, The Incredibly Intense Elections for Homecoming, The Subtle Racism, Monk Superpowers, The Via Motorcycle, FAMINE! WAR! DISEASE! PLAGUES!, Crouching Tiger; Hidden DCOM, Quiet Kung Fu, Yan-Lo Ain’t Picky, The Strange Back To The Future Chase, Shen Should Be Arrested, Shaolin Soccer, This School Is a Mess, Mean Girls Three-Way, The Incredibly Weird Cousin Relationship, Big Yikes, What Does Yan-Lo Do All Day?, Beating Up Your Principal, Very Strict School Bylaws, A Lack of Motivation, A Nice Breeze Down There, Fashion Montage!, 3AM Culture Conversation, Monk to Hunk, Dating Your Cousin on the DL, New Zealand Money, A Classic Non-Alcoholic Teen Party, We’re Gonna Have Fun, Kung-Fu Breakdancing, An Illusion of the Heart, That Sick Kiss on the Cheek, You Gotta Know That’s Not a Chip Lisa, Beating Up Your Teachers in the Park, The Heroes Do Evil, Crane-Shaming, Where Was Yan-Lo On January 6th?, Rules of Engagement, You Can’t Fight Evil If You Ain’t Cute, Property Damage, When Did She Learn Energy Balls?, What Was Sacrificed Here?

Music: “Will It Go Round In Circles” by Orlando Brown

Episode 77: Canada's Most Decorated Actor

December 31, 2022

Y’all ready for this? We’ve got one more episode for you before we slip into the New Year and it’s all about two things: Judaism and Basketball. That’s right, Full Court Miracle brings together that classic dynamic duo once again. Come along with us, and our new guest Louie, to the City of Brotherly Love as we witness a miracle take place before our very eyes. Not so much all the oil lasting long and lighting stuff, but more so that one man is able to make 5 teenagers championship basketball players in approximately one month’s time. Oh, and they think he’s a ghost. It’s a whole thing.

Emma acknowledges your tweets and shows off her training.

Lucas creates a drinking game for once and feels very proud of himself.

Louie schools our hosts in basketball as well as “yes and-ing”

Talking Points: Breaking The Guest Dry Spell, Our Bad!, A Bit Of A Hanukkah Hodgepodge, What’s The Point Of Julie?, Temperature Concerns, A Surprising Lack Of Basketball, Unfortunate Fat Kid Cliches, Cool Rabbis, Is Schlots Good?, Bigger Stakes For The Basketball, Great (And Alive) Parents, The Glass Ceiling Of Negligence, A Small Space Jam Tangent, Meeting Strangers In Parks, Money Makes The World Go ‘Round, Ghost Hunting, Espresso Fundraising, Not Everyone Should Be A Doctor, Those Silly Womenfolk Will Never Understand Basketball, The Team Is Better Now?, Dean Redacted, The Tetanus-Filled Toolshed, FULL COURT PRESS, A Brief BMX Interlude, Living In A Van Down By The River, That One Extra Seven, A Failing Grad of C-, Philadelphia’s Worst Realtor, Gotta Have Some Mud In There, No Child Left Behind, The Dogs Start Barking, Basketball Studying, The Team Can Just Win Now, Dramatic Doctor’s Office Confrontation, Being Wrong For The Right Reasons, The Out Of Nowhere Dancing, Missed Yarmulke Opportunity, They’re Just Doing A Hanukkah, Antisemitic Energy, God Fixes An Internal Combustion Engine, Unnecessary Clock Stoppage, Lamont Returns To Do Nothing, The World’s Longest Timeout, The Visual Effects Ruin The Ending

Music: “Spin ‘Ya Like a Dreidel” Performed by SoL Survivor

Episode 76: No Take Twos

December 3, 2022

Ahoy! We may have been a little delayed in our travels, but your intrepid hosts are finally headed aboard the S.S. Tipton for their next cinematic adventure. That’s right, it’s time for everyone’s favorite troublesome twins to take center stage in The Suite Life Movie. Oh, what hijinks ensue with these two rocking the boa…huh? Oh, again?! Fine. Once again, very little of this film actually takes place in the show’s usual setting and instead finds the Martin brothers…wait, what? No, that can’t be what happens. Like, that’s pretty out there even for most of these movies based on disney channel shows. Just listen for yourselves audience, I don’t think anything I write will do it justice.

Lucas is let down by his heroes and remembers his love for London.

Emma gets more evidence for her theory and continues her dolphin propaganda.

Talking Points: Being Absolutely Broken, Acting On Autopilot, The Life Raft of Good Jokes, The Lone Gone Luggage Cart Days, Here For Debby Ryan, Zack’s Charlie Sheen-ness, The High Schooler Aged Sprouse Ship Has Sailed, The Problem With Woody, At Work Since Birth, Scholarship Confusion, The Stupid Car Motivation, Everyone Jumped Off This Ship, The Cardinal Sin of Wasting Moseby/London, Eternal Spotshine of the Sunless Mind, MORE DOLPHIN TELEPATHY???, The Urkelization of Suite Life, Woah Nellie, The Terrible CGI Submarine Battle, Side Character Purgatory Dock, I’m Worried About The Gemini Project Darling, Violating The Rules of Science, The Least Bechdel Approved DCOM?, Crab POV, The Stupidest Fight Ever Put to Screen, A Blatant Disney Channel Sex Joke, The Worst Fake Crying, The “Sea” Plot, This Movie Is Scooby-Doo Now, Too Old For Air Ducts, The Dolphins Apparently Know Everything, The Barely Elevated Yet Zombie-Proof Zipline, Force Fields Are Real?!, Identical Twin Height Differences, The Most Infuriating Flashbacks, Fruit-Based Villain Redemption, The Twins Are Alright, Our First Ad Ever