Episode 57: Off The Same Page

Stepsister From Planet Weird (2000)

Hey there bubbly boys, gaseous girls, and those intergalactic inbetweeners; are you ready to get weird??? Not in like a super fun way or anything, sorry if that was misleading. I just meant that we are watching Stepsister From Planet Weird this month and you need to be prepared. Not for anything to do with the aliens though, honestly that’s kind of not a big deal here. Really you just need to be ready for this film’s wild cultural references and strange sense of humor, coupled with the kind of whiplash only a DCOM can provide as it wildly flips from one tone to another.

Emma gets way too deep and can’t stop laughing.

Lucas bungles the intro and says no to the dress.

Talking Points: The End of the Zombies Saga, Dessert DCOMs?, A Strong Wind Surfing Component, The Crimes of Cosmo Cola, The Enigma of Cutter, A Surprisingly Deep Character Arc, The Last Gasp of the 1990s, Insane Architecture, Megan: The Only Sensible Person on Earth, Kathy Is Not Okay, What’s With the Potato Chips, Hats on Hats on Hats, Cutaway Gags, Cosmo Goes Too Hard, Bad at Being Human, Full CGI Nightmares, OUR QUEEN SERENA SOO, Speed of Light Engagement, The Immense (If Uninteresting) Power of Being Hot, We Needed More Mikey, A Major Cosmetics Representative?, The Most Convoluted Plan, Disney Channel Deep Cut, It Feels Like There Are Missing Scenes, Real World Parallels, Better Call Fred, The Realities of Zircalon Relations, Random Seltzer, Every Child Loves Sanford and Son, Hitting the Gaslight Pedal, This Is The World Megan Lives In, Intergalactic Accents, Monster Moments, Brought to You By Altoids, A Planet-saving Speech About Potato Chips, Reception Romance, The Lying Will Continue

Music: “Sister Sister” by the Haschak Sisters (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcPa95uIMgw&ab_channel=HaschakSisters)

Episode 56: Dopey Bones Down

Descendants (2015)

Welcome friends of villainy! This month, the time has finally come for us dive deep into one of Disney Channel’s most recent hit franchises with Descendants. We are heading to the greatest country in the world, the United States of Auradon, to meet the various children of classic Disney heroes and villains. Can they get along? Will the bad blood between their parents define their future? Will a flowering love overcome all the hatred? Honestly, none of that is super important. We all know the talk of the town is the villain kid’s incredible outfits and choreography. I suppose sometimes it’s good to be bad…

Emma loses her mind at a mascot and truly loves Dove.

Lucas wants Mevie to happen and hates Doug.

Talking Points: More on Spin, Playing With That IP, The Belle Impostor, Behind Those Bestial Eyes, Thriving At Being Over the Top, Insane Lore, A Misunderstanding of Monarchies, Fairy Tale Pilot Program, The Crazy Choice of Cruella, The Cheap Crown, RIP CAMERON BOYCE, A Town of Bicycles, Jaws + Circus = Evil Island, They Did Jafar So Bad, Disney Villain Wine Mom, Magic Staring Contest, A Hot Aaron Stone Reference, A Very Sudden Heist, The Superfluous Vaudeville Song, What Is Up With Jane?, The Definitely Interesting Sport: Tourney, A New Demi Rises, Read the Room, Disney Created Ben, The Malchelorette, Love on the Isle, Soooo Shirtless, Shout Out To Foreigner, The Continuing Battle for Wheelchair User Representation, It All Falls Apart?, Coronation Looks, A Very Convenient Twist, Everyone Is Bad at Being Frozen, Are You Really Best Friends?

Music: “Rotten to the Core” By The Cast of Descendants

Episode 55: Too Much Chicken, Not Enough Stakes

Hatching Pete (2009)

Hey there everyone! How are you Cock-A-Doodle Doing?!?!?! Ugh. Sorry, our brains are a bit scrambled after having to pick apart Hatching Pete for you all. A movie that is by no means terrible, but definitely takes a toll on your mind, body, and soul. All we hope is that by listening to this episode we can save some of you the mental anguish we experienced as we suffered for our art by saying the word chicken more times than the human brain was ever designed to process. So tread carefully, but do still listen to us unravel as we uncover the dark secrets of the town of Brewster and the mysteries it hides under its exterior. While also trying to avoid spending any time talking about basketball or mascot antics since they really just start to blur together after a while.

Lucas throws out some theories and feels broken inside.

Emma brings some strong wordplay and really nails her references.

Talking Points: A True Enigma, Please Watch Hatching Pete Responsibly, The Most Grotesque Character in a DCOM, Why Is This a Comedy?, A Gym of Confused Teenagers, The Incredibly Small Gym, The Mess of Camie Poole, The Terrible But Beloved Basketball Team, The Trampoline of Emotions, A Lack of Food Fun, THE CULT OF THE CHICKEN, Low Energy Ivey, We Can’t Describe The Basketball And Antics, Iron Chicken, Everybody Loves/Hates The Chicken, Houston From Houston, Chicken Possession, Everyone Is Horny For The Chicken, An Incredibly Easy Sell, We’re Over The Hill, Detective Dill, Now Everyone Just Loves The Chicken, Deep Cut Comic Book References, Cheating With The Chicken, Poole Pulls A 180, The Twine Returns, The Secret Is Stupidly Revealed, Unfulfilling Heart To Hearts, Grand Theft Avian, The Magic’s In The Mystery Now I Guess, Pete & Cleat, The DCOMedy 2021 Bane-Off, The Chicken’s Secret Stuff

Music: “Let It Go” by Mitchell Musso and Tiffany Thornton

Episode 54: Rodney Pepper-Eyes

Jump In! (2007)

After the past year, one would have hoped this month would have started 2021 off better in the grand scheme of things. However, at least we can say we are starting the year off right on our show by taking a look at the exceedingly fun time that is Jump In! While it is definitely a movie that doesn’t take a ton of risks with its plot, it makes up for it with solid music, great chemistry, and plenty of that sweet double dutch action that just never gets old. Oh yeah, there is also some boxing in there for some reason but don’t let that ruin all that other good stuff for you.

Lucas gets nauseous from the camera and is always in Corbin’s Corner.

Emma can’t stand the narration and won’t be steamrolled.

Talking Points: Soundtrack Conflict, Corbin and Keke, Basically A Sports Biopic, Boxing Is Too Violent For Disney Channel, Corbin and Parkour, The Return of The King, Disney Actually Tries, A Well-Done Dead Parent, Disney Channel Sibling Age Gaps, Tammy: Feminist Icon, Big Balcony Problems, The Narration Spoils Its Ending, The Enigma of Mr. Hook, Gina’s Unfounded Hatred, Double Dutch Looks Rad, Where Is Bridget?, The Worst Boxing Ever, This Movie Hates Kids With Glasses, Double Dutch Destroys Lives, Pouring Liquid On Someone: A Rock Solid Comeback, What Was Rodney’s Plan, The Oldest Camera, Disney Has a Lawsuit Incoming, Nunya What?, Blow Off Your Girlfriend Son!, The Obsessive Photo Lab, Who Cares About This?, The Closest We May Ever Get to A Disney Channel Yo Momma Joke, That’s Your Takeaway? Corbin Goes HARD, Walking It Off, The Magic Referee, Corbin Continues To Go HARD, This Crowd Wants Blood, The Announcer’s Wild Style, An Incredibly Long But Incredibly Hype Performance

Music: “Push It To The Limit” by Corbin Bleu

Episode 53: Skates and Sex Pacts

Go Figure (2005)

While we certainly hope the new year will be full of change for all of us, our last episode of the year has us treading some very familiar ground. A high schooler discovering a new passion that changes them, their new passion conflicting with their previous one, their relationship with a parent evolving in unexpected ways, and of course: hockey. You’d think rehashing these concepts would make for an easy, if rather by-the-numbers, DCOM. For some reason however, this movie decided to try movie so many other things it ended up a bit messier than it needed to be. Go Figure.

Emma loves figure skating and gets obsessed with the romance.

Lucas can’t handle the “girly” humor and gets way too frustrated about a kid’s movie.

Talking Points: Too Much Telling With No Showing, Disney Channel Chicago Representation, The Eternal Wheel of DCOMs, Indoor Sports Domination, Spotty Narration, The Enigma of Ed, BOB AND GINGER, Topical Tonya Harding References, The Definitely Super Accurate Russian Woman, Walk-a-thon Woes, Everything About the Brother Sucks, Watch Out For Hooners, She Should Be in College, Someone Actually Asks Questions, Katelin Is a Republican, Twirl Girls, Time Has No Meaning, Nobody Taught Her Hockey, Irrational Hatred of Figure Skaters, An Out of Sequence Scene, Party-Party/Pamela’s Pulley Pranking Plan, That’s Kristi Yamaguchi!, The Problem Is Pamela, Terrible Fake Crying, Pregnancy On Ice, A Student Blackmails a Grown Man, Nothing Was Phat in 2005, The Worst Kept Secret In Hockey, Disney Channel Doping, Everyone Tells Her Not to Throw Away Her Dream, We Need to Talk About Pamela, The Brother’s Robot Becomes Relevant, All The Rules Get Thrown Out, An Absolutely Terrible Closing Line

Music: “Go Figure” by Everlife

Episode 52: Full-on Hand Magic

Wizards of Waverly Place: The Movie (2009)

After a rather difficult year for basically the entire world, we wanted to escape into something a bit more magical. Luckily for us, Disney Channel made a whole TV show about a Wizard family in an entire magical world that got so popular they gave it a whole movie! So join us as we head down to Waverly Place and….what’s that? Oh. I’ve just been informed that the majority of this movie completely removes the family from their established setting and characters to have them go on vacation. How original. I’m sure this won’t feel like an entirely out of continuity side story at all.

Lucas refuses a mental image and agrees with his sister for once.

Emma battles her own boredom and has a broken brain.

Talking Points: Canonicity Questions, Selena Gomez Juice, Wizards’ Accolades, The Unnecessary Max Russo, A Hilarious Dad and Overly Sexy Mom, Opening Issues, The Wizard World Sucks, Alex’s Illusions of Grandeur, A Perfectly Fun Family Vacation, Unjustified Emotion, Massive Info Dumps, The Bad Bird Vibes, Middle Aged And Ready To Party, This Setup Makes No Sense, Sleeping On The Job, This Movie Could Use Some Time Travel, Lazy Quicksand, A Human Moment Between Wizards, Upsetting Campfire Chats, Man vs. Bird, Everyone Just Gives Up, The Violent Tornado of Reality, A Very Athletic Wizard Battle, The Stupidest Necklace Ever, Bird Body Horror, Justin’s Eye Issues, A Reality Level Yeeting, Everyone Is Surprised Alex Does the Right Thing

Music: “Everything Is Not What It Seems” (Wizards of Waverly Place Theme) By Selena Gomez

Episode 51: Movie Mason's Megaplexxx of Pleasure

Phantom of the Megaplex (2000)

Happy Halloween Listeners! To celebrate the spookiest of seasons, we’re covering a The Phantom of the Megaplex! A movie full of…uh…umm…okay so to be honest with you, this movie ended up being far less Halloweeny than we were led to believe. It is a bit more focused on being a whodunit than putting out those spooky vibes. However, we are happy to report that it is also about an absolute legend named Movie Mason who has the entire world wrapped around his finger…and some other things too.

Emma gets hung-up on an unnamed character and has pronunciation problems.

Lucas fails at an accent and almost comes to blows with his sister.

Dyllan gets swept up in the movie magic.

Talking Points: Scooby-DCOM, Warm Movie Memories, An Actually Good Protagonist, There Are Only Boring or Wild Names, The Rooney Factor, The Many Protagonists, Fake Movie Titles, The Largest Bowl of Cereal Ever, Breaking Labor Laws, Donny Loves Pete, Alternate Phantom Theories, Very Unsexy Uniforms, Movie Mason’s Burlesque Days, Home Alone Level Stunts, Friends Who Hate Each Other, What Is A Cinema Sitter?, Caitlin’s Movie Theater Fetish, A Town of Karens, Public Domain Phantom Music, The Fan Hits the Fan, Extras in the Wind, THE PLANT METAPHOR, So Many Stairs, A Way Too Emotional Monologue, The Phantom’s Editing Skills, Brian Takes Charge, Boring Water Balloons, The Roof of Death, Misplaced Messages, The Phantom Shops at H&M, Smart House Reference!, They Solve It Offscreen?, A Solid Stunt, Why But No How, Pete Buys His Lady Breakfast

Music: “Hooray For Hollywood” Composed by Richard Whiting

Episode 50: They Put a Horse In Charge?

Tangled: Before Ever After (2017)

We have quite an interesting case this month gang. We’ve covered dcoms built on the backs of things like books and TV shows before, but this is a different kind of beast. It is not only tied to a feature film, but by many metrics is not a Disney Channel Original Movie! However, since it bears the title, we traveled to the kingdom of Corona (yikes) to go on an all setup no payoff adventure with Rapunzel in Tangled: Before Ever After.

Emma just wanted a sequel and is overly attracted to these cartoons.

Lucas has controversial Prince opinions and some animation qualms.

Talking Points: We Got Tricked, A New/Old Spin, Tangled and Tooth Pain, No Eugene Only Flynn Rider, Rapunzel Hates Shoes, Unfulfilled Horse Romance, Maximus Rules So Hard, Clancy Brown Can’t Sing, Everybody Hates Flynn, Eugene SIMP-herbert, Lady Caine vs. Cassandra: Who Deserves to Be the Villain?, The Sudden Appearance of France, Super Weird Kiss Baiting, Cassandra Goes Dark, A Strangely Horrific Proposal, Ascot Bargaining, Pascal’s Puppetry, Things Get Ominous, Rapunzel Is A Superhero, The Mom Decides to Be Important, The Stupidest Villain Motivation, Chekov’s Frying Pan

Episode 49: Men Don't Matter

The Cheetah Girls (2003)

Alright listeners, time for you to dig deep and find your spots! Because we have decided to celebrate our fourth anniversary (ignore all the times we say fifth, we are bad and wrong) by coming at you with as much growl power as we could muster. That’s right everyone, we are covering easily one of our most requested movies: The Cheetah Girls! Join us as we dive deep into this legendary DCOM, mainly in the ways it is both amazing and beautifully insane at the same time.

Emma dives deep into her musical past and sounds super smart.

Lucas gets hung up on the animal facts and doesn’t know music.

Talking Points: Oops! Missed a Movie, S-Tier Acting, A Lot of Attempted Catchphrases, Aqua Gets Snubbed, The Alternate Music Video Reality, Prada or Nada, A Quality Dog, Dorothea Rules, Buckets of Duckets, Hornt Up Parents, Insane Sound Design, Mrs. Almanac, Breaking It Down to the Camera, The Icon That Is Drinka Champagne, Disney Channel Being Real, The Jackala Johnson/Jackson Effect, The Powerful Aura of Dorothea, Running on Growl Powder, Hot Sauce in the Bag Swag, Def Duck Studios, Dorothea’s Galaxy Brain, Jackal Johnson Deserves Jail Time, Time Still Has No Meaning, The Fall of Galleria Caligula, Playing Catch-Up, Terrible Child Acting, Disney Channel Lets This Movie Get Real, The Global Getdown, We Stop Making a Funny Podcast, Hearth Ledder, DOG IN A HOLE!, New York Comes Together

Editor’s Note: Unfortunately, due to the heat wave in California, we couldn’t record in our usual environment so the audio turned out with some echo at times. Our apologies.

Music: “Cheetah Sisters” and “Together We Can” performed by The Cheetah Girls

Minisode: The Third Annual DCOM Choice Awards (2020)

It’s award season once again! Plus, since there aren’t really gonna be many other awards shows for awhile, we can officially present to you the greatest awards show experience of the year! That’s right, it’s time for the one and only the DCOM Choice Awards! The most magical of nights, where we acknowledge both the highs and the lows the past year of DCOMs has had to offer. So don’t miss out on a night sure to be full of laughter, tears, and I’m sure disagreements from our audience over our opinions. 

Emma can’t stop joining cults. Lucas shames Emma’s lack of showmanship.

Thank you so much to everyone who voted on twitter for the awards, and if you missed the polls be sure to follow us (@dcomedypodcast) so you can have your voice heard next year!

Episode 48: That Damn Hat

Radio Rebel (2012)

Listen up guys. If you have any common sense, you should turn back before it is too late. We thought we would have a fun time watching the now-notorious Radio Rebel, but there was almost no fun to be had. This movie brought us nothing but pain, from the baffling character choices, insane dialogue, and (perhaps worst of all) the wardrobe.

Emma reminisces about statement jewelry and can’t tell what’s good anymore.

Lucas gets his life force drained and wants to call it early.

Talking Points: Disney’s Folly, News At Last, Classic High School, Far Out Fashion, THE POPS, No 2012 Teen Wants This, The Least Interesting Point of Entry, Larry and Barry: Unimportant Idiots, Call Me Radio Rebel, A Band Post Lemonade Mouthing, Please No G’s, Tara’s “Shyness” Troubles, Drastic Departure From DCOM Parents, Bad Bedroom Design, Bang Acting, The State of Radio in 2012, Shakespeare But Bad, Kleptomaniac Principal, Random Food Theft, Radio Hor-Rebel, The Silent G’s, The Saddest Man Alive, Idiotic Fears, Everyone Protests the Wrong Person, An Unbelievable Sandwich Plan, The Morp, A Pointless Tangent About The Mask, Stacy Is Delusional, An Insane Show of Blocking, Show Don’t Tell, All the Morp Madness, The Stupid Sandwich Surprise

Music: “We So Fly” by The GGGG’s/Mike Liorti

Bonus Episode 6: Jon Voight's Lemon Party

National Treasure (2004)

Get in our shady red heist van, audience. We need your help. We weren’t feeling very patriotic this Fourth of July so we decided to live vicariously through Nicolas Cage as he robs the U.S. Government blind. That’s right, we watched the modern masterpiece that is National Treasure and now we are way too hype to NOT steal the Declaration of Independence. You in? Of course you are. Oh, by the way do you have any lemons?

Emma still would and proves women can’t be trusted.

Lucas kills the mood and tries to keep things out of New York.  

Dyllan flexes his history muscles.

Talking Points: Always Check for Christopher Plummers In The Attic, The National Treasure Ride, Production Promises, National Treasure Three Plot Ideas, The Genius of Riley Poole, Wildly Accented Henchmen, Unnecessary Chirons, Certified Smokeshow Diane Kruger, I’M GONNA STEAL THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE, Nic Cage Just Wants His Treasure, Washington DC Tourism Porn, Heist Prep!, Scandalous Deleted Scenes, Horny For Adventure, The Most Insane Toast, The Worst Marksmen, Kidnapped By Cage, The Keitel Enigma, Everyone’s Getting Fired, Treasure and Pleasure, Nic Cage Pillow Talk, Abigail Goes All In, We Are All Harvey Keitel, The Criminal Mastermind Who Uses Ask Jeeves, Urban Outfitters: The Wild West of Clothing, Water Magnification, The Deep Backstory of Phil, The Most Reckless FBI Op, The Treasure Was Family All Along

Music: “Treasure” by Bruno Mars

Episode 47: Apologies to the Drag Racing Community

Right On Track (2003)

Alright gang, let’s start your engines! That’s right, for June we are all about drag racing. All day, every day. We just love it when the cars go fast, and when…um…the cars go even faster somehow? Okay I’ll be real, the sport this movie focuses on doesn’t really photograph well and was kind of difficult to grasp the mechanics of. While the racing might fall a bit flat, the romance can be disappointing, and the pacing is crazy, it can be hard to notice all that when you’re focused on staying Right on Track!

Lucas keeps trying to cut bits and checks in with his best friend.

Emma demands a rival romance and can’t handle the timeline.

Talking Points: Justice for Jordy, Benjamin Button Enders, Children Driving Cars, Ugly Trophies, Nonsensical Sexclusion, Gregg Enders’ Side Hustle, Love in the Fast Lane, There Is Only French Class, The Party of the Century, Seraphim of the Speedway, Being Way Too Horny, RACERGIRL, Stop Playing Volleyball!, Gregg Goes Off, Doug Pennzoildome, Erica’s Last Goodbye, A Medical Marvel, Getting Back On The Dragstrip, The Randy of the Opera, Double Power Moves, Everyone’s Favorite Product: Gumout, Papa Pennzoil, Drag Racer Driving Tests, BDErica, Ice Skating Social Suicide, Alcohol Curveball, A Sitcom Tangent, Mucho Pressure, The Win Spike, Dejadome Vu, ESPN Le Sept, No Room for Improvement, Gregg the Computer Electronics Genius???, The Editing Kills the Ending

Music: “That’s What Girls Do” by No Secrets

Episode 46: Wilde Whiplash

Starstruck (2010)

Alright listeners, this month DCOMedy is going Hollywood! We’re even bringing our new friend Paige along for the ride! That’s right, we’re living the big time in Los Angeles by reviewing Starstruck. You’d think it was a classic story of a regular girl meeting a celebrity and going on an adventure, but really it turns out to be a true roller-coaster of a relationship. Not with your ordinary ups and downs either, more like them changing wildly between wanting to kill each other or falling in love? Maybe? Kind of? It won’t last.

Emma can't handle the costumes and gives storm-out advice. 

Lucas wants a real villain and just loves Stubby. 

Paige makes our hosts really feel their age.

Talking Points: LA Love Letter, Sterling’s Swirling Singing Controversy, They Made the Girl a Jerk, Blue Eyed But Way Too Old, Not Like Other Girls, Losing the Plot Threads, Starstruck Could be Solved By Smartphones, DCOM Cars, Unusual Villains and Heroes, Period Piece Porn, Encyclopedia Jessica, Non-Observant Parents, The Confusing Grandmother Situation, Stubby’s Time to Shine, Jonas’ List, Bratz Invasion, Door Struck, It Sucks Being Sanjay, Fevered Romance, Winning Your Children’s Love, The Smolder, Uncomfortable Grandpa Worship, Garage Syrup, A Lack of Family Time, Sunglasses Banter, Car Swapping, L.A. Porn, Wilde Time, Los Angeles Quicksand, The Wheels Come Off The Wagon, Intertwined Hands, Multiple Personality Main Cast, What Did She Tell Them?, Stubby’s Love For Cars, The Most Insane Speech, Oh Right The Big Dance, Quick-Change Personalities, How Will This Work Out?

Music: “Starstruck” by Christopher Wilde/Sterling Knight

Episode 45: For the Ladies

Horse Sense (1999)

Howdy there partner! You look like someone who could learn a thing a two about having some Horse Sense. What’s Horse Sense you ask? Well…uh…um….it’s…look. We may have devoted our April episode to this 1999 Lawrence Brothers showcase, but we have no earthly idea what it’s title has to do with the movie. The filmmakers apparently didn’t feel it was important to connect them. The only thing for sure they had to do was to make Joey Lawrence look as hot as possible, and by God they did their duty.

Lucas fights some body issues and shows some “woodworking” familiarity.

Emma invents a troubling romance and has no qualms about this attraction.

Talking Points: Big ABC Family Energy, Magical Creature Crushes Continued, What Is Horse Sense?, Horse Sense of the Cinnamaron, Rodeo Drive, Hitting the Pube, The Chiseled Joey Lawrence, Gina with the Va, Kids Love the Costner, Disneyland Teases, Into the BrinkVerse, Tube Slide Slapstick, Disney Says Horse Rights?, Family Finance Troubles, Ranch Life, Cowboy Language, Boring Sabotage, Literal B.S., God’s Painting?, Wolf Watch, STAMPEDE, Wild Horses, Bad Time Flow, Messing Up the Message, Pyramid Schemes, Tree-house Meltdowns, Horse Porn, Real Estate Law Saves the Day

Music: “Thank God I’m a Country Boy” by John Denver

Episode 44: Emma Vs. Luke 2 - Prawnpocalypse

Zombies 2 (2020)

Okay everyone, you know what time it is. Dust off your Z-bands and pom-poms, because (despite the wishes of one of our hosts) we are headed back to Seabrook. That’s right, we are reviewing the freshly released Z-O-M-B-I-E-S 2 and all of the craziness that comes with it. Come along as we dive right into how this world gets even wilder thanks to werewolves, monster laws, and unfulfilled prophecies.

Emma fights for the people and wins a personal victory.

Lucas is in denial and missed a massive metaphor.

Talking Points: Mixed Messages, Choreography War, Adult Lizzie, Leaving Out the Werewolves, The Coach’s Return, A Cheer Mansion, THE PRAWN, Eliza’s Horrible Theory, The Buck-zooka, Bree and Bonzo Business, Shrimp and Run, Were-goths, Alpha Wolves Don’t Exist, Inconsistent Monster Laws, Surname Stupidity, Seabrook’s Three Genders, The Lack of Tension, De-jokerization, Werewolf Racial Slurs, Magical Werewolf Makeovers, Worn Out Howling, These Films Keeps Ripping Off Hamilton, The Movie Won’t End, The Only Weapon is Cheer, An Entirely Pointless Argument About Silver Gas, Cool Water Dancing Causes Bummer, Werewolf Formal Ware, Hobbling Into Prawn, Seabrook’s Suspicious Seismology, National Treasure: Book of Zombies, We’re Zom In This Together

Music: “Do It LIke The Zombies Do” performed by the cast of Zombies 2

Episode 43: Nobody Explains Anything

Cadet Kelly (2002)

After taking a short leave, the dauntless DCOMedy crew is reporting for duty to give you our full report on the most accurate military film ever made: Cadet Kelly! Join us as we follow a classic fish out of water story, where the free-spirited Hilary Duff is dropped into a world of hard work, zero individuality, and strict rules. Too bad not a single person decided to actually tell her what those rules were, huh? That probably would have helped a lot.

Emma calls out her brother and has her heart break for Kelly.

Lucas doesn’t understand gymnastics and confronts his own mortality.

Talking Points: Girl Movie Disdain, Zombies Rise Again, Terrible Parents, Unnecessary Narration, Every Fish Life Is Worth Saving, Duff in Denial, Military Porn, Kelly’s Conformity, Everybody Loves Brad, CCR’s BDE, Military Messenger Bags, Let Carla Have Something, Going Downhill, Dirty Bird Brad, Cracker Jack Court, Borrowing Spit, Hair Problems, Head Rubs, Sudden Plot Shifts, That Flavor, Dance for Me, Girl Loves a Bangle, Permission to KRUMP, The Rumsfeld Drop, No Tolerance for Nokias, We Suck at Describing Things, The Feels, Things Get Wild, Tonal Whiplash, This Was an Autobiography??

Music: “One Girl Revolution” by Superchick

Editor’s Note: There was a strange audio hiccup towards the end of the episode that made us lose some of our usual wrap-up. Therefore you may notice a quick cut towards the end and a lack of ratings this time around. For those who actually keep track of our scores at home, which I honestly hope is none of you, Emma gave it a 7.5 and Lucas gave it a 7.

Episode 42: Costume Catastrophe

Up, Up, and Away! (2000)

Ah, superheroes. What’s not to love? People with amazing abilities and cool costumes acting selflessly to help their fellow man. It’s perfect! So certainly, Disney Channel’s own superhero movie Up, Up, and Away! will be a slam dunk!  What’s that? The superheroes have no urgency to help people, the budget is so low they can’t really show cool powers, and the costumes are so bad it hurts the eyes? Well, uh, with any luck an under-aged superhero will be around to electroshock the bad memories of this film from my brain and just leave the stuff we thought was fun. Like the foil thing! That was fun, right? Or was it a cheap workaround? Hmmmm….

Luke settles a score and finds a mortal enemy.

Emma calls out a bad boyfriend and makes a quick exit.

Dyllan just wants to talk about Entourage.

Talking Points: The Incredible Sky High, Wolf Children, An Excessive National Treasure Tangent, Sound Design Disaster, Super Incorrect Ages, Superfoods, A Reverse Get Out, A Totally Informed Romance, School of No Concerns, Evil Attire, Costume Fails, Nonchalant Bank Robbery, The Fourteenth Year, THE FLYING DOOR, Everyone Becomes an Idiot, Nina The Gullible Genius, Unplanned Skydiving, The Costumes Fail Even Harder, Everyone Is Useless, That’s Not How Masks Work, The Cool Worm, Geriatric Heroics, The Most Obvious Trap, Just Close Your Eyes!, A Pointless Ruse, Horny for Removing Memories

Music: “Everyday Superhero” by Smash Mouth

Episode 41: Creepy Uncle Nick

‘Twas the Night (2001)

Ho, Ho, Ho! Merry Christmas dear listeners! I hope you are all on the nice list this ye- What’s that? Christmas was a week ago and it’s literally New Year’s Eve when we are posting this? It basically defeats the purpose of doing a Christmas DCOM in the first place? Well if you keep that naughty thinking up, someone is getting an ant farm instead of a new episode all about ‘Twas the Night like they wanted.

Lucas picks up a new voice and begs for a zombie apocalypse.

Emma hates Luke’s new voice and wants to stop talking about this movie.

Drew & Riley are in shock after watching this film.

Talking Points: Doctor Stuff, The Beans of a Simpler Time, THE BABY VOICE, Muniz Money, Bruce Lee Christmas Tree, Santa Dropping a Deuce, Self-Congratulating Writing, Eggnog Abuse, The Wrigley Super Virus, Santa’s Super Stupid Sleigh, Claus Technology, Santa Prat Fall, Gift Income Inequality, The Plot Stops Happening, Nobody Expects a Spanish Inquisition Reference, Confused Themes, A Dead Dog Appears, Santa’s Sloshing Stomach, My Boy Pablo, Naughty Boys, Peter’s Piss Saves Christmas, The Canadian Royal Family, Silence on Silence, Caitlin: Magic Mechanic, Santa Sexual Tension

Editor’s Note: We were out of our usual recording environment for the holidays so apologies if the audio sounds a little off at times.

Music: “Little Saint Nick” by The Beach Boys

Episode 40: Stevological Warfare

The Even Stevens Movie (2003)

After an unfortunate delay, we are happy to report that your flight to the definitely real island of Mandalino is ready to go! And to make it up to you, your in flight movie will be another television show turned DCOM with The Even Stevens Movie. Much like we endured our technical difficulties, watch the Stevens endure and overcome being put in a survivor-esque situation while hopefully wrapping up their series in a meaningful way.

Emma revisits her crush and doesn’t like the family fighting. 

Lucas's fingers get possessed and screams for Shia. 

Brittany drops some knowledge on our hosts.

Talking Points: McGuires vs. Stevens, A Dramatic Finale Reading, Should There Be Even More Stevens?, Photoshopped Shia, One Day of Coulier, The Glee Problem, The Terrible CGI, Doctor Emmett Louis Brown, The Mystery of Beans, The Pancake House, THE CHAIR, Wrong Music, Ren’s Pantyhose, Getting Messy, Jim Carrey Energy, Actors and Ages, House Collapsers, A Sudden Shift to Survivor, Heroic Snake Saving, Family Fakeout, The Lost Love of Larry, The Squirrel Cam, Twitty Told All, One of Those Hip Websites, An Impossible Vote, Tom’s Dinghy, A Coconut in the Dark, The T-Name Trio, Dr. Lars Honeytoast, An Island Lip Kiss, The Most Dangerous Ren, Deus Ex Gotcha, The Cringe of Mootai, and An Out of Nowhere Music Video

Music: Dream Vacation by Christy Carlson Romano