It's a Homestuck double-header today! Luke and Ashley barrel onward toward the end of Act 3, exploring John's love for his friends, the Aimless Renegade's crush on the Peregrine Mendicant, and Jack Noir's begrudging respect for John's dad. We also get some hints about the nature of Jade's future-sight, meet a few more trolls, and Ashley endorses my erstwhile OTP before everything rockets headlong into the end of Act 3.
Alpha Episode 1: Let Me Tell You About Bonus Episodes
As another person falls into the Homestuck fold, so to does the dark engines of LMTYAHS start again. Ashley is now joined by her friend and Totally Reprise co-host Molly to dive deep into the webcomic. They discuss what Molly has read so far, meet an Aimless Renegade, discuss just how cute baby Jade is and just when things pick up we are thrust into the world of The Midnight Crew.
These episodes should come out on Tuesday for the foreseeable future.
Read MoreEpisode 13: Let Me Tell You About Gristmas
John and Rose spend some time chatting about the recent revelation of John's psychological issues, while Jade's dream self explores Prospit, the planet orbiting Skaia. Meanwhile, WV and PM get a heaping helping of bullets from the Aimless Renegade, and Homestuck makes a bunch of Bill Cosby jokes that were wayyyyyyyyyyyyy funnier in 2009.
Episode 12: Let Me Tell You About Shocking Revelations
Homestuck is a comic within a comic within Homestuck! Jade's grandpa has been dead for years! Rose's mom is some kind of mad scientist that helped create SBURB! John's dad is just a boring businessman! Spades Slick is really Jack Noir! Gushers are made by Betty Crocker! Becquerel is some kind of interdimensional hellbeast! Dave's bro is kind of a huge jerk! Wait, I guess we knew that last one already...
Episode 11: Let Me Tell You About Jade Harley
It's a new act, and with it comes a new character! Jade arrives on the scene to complete our original quartet of characters. She plays a silly flute refrain, fertilizes the HECK outta some plants, and tells us all about her love of guns, fresh produce, and furries. Oh and also she deeeeefinitely gets cancer from constantly exposing herself to uranium. RIP Jade.
Episode 10: Let Me Tell You About Cantown
It's time to get Ashley formally acquainted with the secret best character in Homestuck, the Wawyward Vagabond. Luke and Ashley boggle vacantly at his shenanigans as he constructs an elaborate fantasy of municipal democracy, inadvertantly forshadows details of events to come, makes friends with a cute little firefly, and eats every vaguely green-colored object in sight.
Episode 9: Let Me Tell You About Ironic Child Abuse
Me and Ashley continue exploring Dave's um... unfortunate home life, as he sifts through piles upon piles of plush puppet ass to build an assortment of deadly replica anime weapons to challenge his Bro with, accidentally participating in puppet snuff films along the way. It's not all sex dungeons and criminal neglect though, as John takes some inspiration from famed Night Court actor Harry Anderson to unlock the secrets of SBURB's punchard-based crafting system, and it's a good thing because it looks like he'll need it soon! Oh, and also? As of this episode, Ashley is OFFICIALLY A HOMESTUCK FAN. WELCOME TO THE DARK CARNIVAL, SISTER
Episode 8: Let Me Tell You About Slaying Imps
This episode is all about... learning! John learns how to handle himself better in a fight, some of the basics of punch-card alchemy, and a little bit about some of the secrets his dad's been keeping from him. Rose learns how to help John in combat and how to use SBURB's building mechanics constructively. The Wandering Vagabond learns about human etiquette. And Dave... well okay Dave doesn't learn anything.
Episode 7: Let Me Tell You About Smuppets
John's conversation with his Nanna ends on a sour note, as she reveals that there's no hope for saving the earth. What a bummer! Luke and Ashley trudge on undeterred, as John stubbornly refuses to eat cookies, the Wayward Vagabond discovers a textbook on human etiquette, Rose does some more walkthrough writing, and Dave, um, starts to realize some things about his brother.
Episode 6: Let Me Tell You About Skaia
Luke and Ashley venture deeper into Act 2, as John experiences his first real battle and at last meets his clownma, and Rose makes the dangerous trek through the storm to her dead cat's mausoleum. Along the way, they discuss some of Homestuck's more problematic language, and also the Knife Show for some reason??
Episode 5: Let Me Tell You About Rose Lalonde
Luke and Ashley sit down to get a little bit more acquainted with the first prominent female character in Homestuck. We learn about her intense psychological war with her mother, her mom's ironic and infuriating love of wizards, and Rose's creativity in the world of refrigerator magnet insults. Along the way, we talk about some of Ashley's film school misadventures, the uncomfortable "racestuck" controversy, Ashley's deep and abiding love of The Mountain Goats, and a bunch of other silly nonsense that is only tangentially related to Homestuck.
Episode 4: Let Me Tell You About Dave Strider
There's this really cool dude, okay? He's named Dave, and this episode's almost exclusively about getting to know him. Me and Ashley learn all about his complex post-ironic irony, his hit webcomic Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, and also... talk about the long-forgotten webtoon series Bonus Stage for some reason? Basically this episode is super chill and super cool, so just sit back, crack into a bottle of AJ, and try not to accidentally murder any crows with your unbelievably cool replica katana.
Episode 3: Let Me Tell You About the End of the World
Ashley and Luke dive headlong into Act 2, and struggle horribly to make interesting radio out of the act's opening flash game. John has escaped the incoming meteor by transporting himself to a mysterious void, but meteors are now coming down all across the globe. John and Rose get to work figuring out the deeper secrets of SBURB in order to learn how to save the earth, though their progress is impeded by a mysterious voice from the future. Also, Ashley tricks me into letting her talk about wrestling for like 15 minutes.
Episode 2: Let Me Tell You About SBURB
Ashley and Luke reconvene, and after battling the temptation to leave a "surprise" for the mailman, they get down to business recovering the SBURB beta from John's dad, appreciating John's horrible taste in movies, and learning that this video game might be a bit more than anyone bargained for. Did John survive that meteor impact? Why is Rose's mom so spooky? What the heck's this deal with this sprite thing? And more importantly, why am I pretending like I don't already know the answers to all of these seven year old mysteries?!
Episode 1: Let Me Tell You About Podcast Reboots
WE'RE BACK. After a series of increasingly escalating dares, Luke and Ashley have revived Luke's old podcast, Let Me Tell You About Homestuck, and set off to begin reading through the monster that is the webcomic Homestuck. In this maiden voyage, they discuss Ashley's former history with the webcomic, esoteric computer programming jokes, and the weird legal grey area around using copyrighted imagery for the purpose of parody. Also, we meet our hero, John Egbert, and are briefly introduced to the trials and trevails he's about to get into surrounding the hit new video game SBURB. We have a feeling it's going to be a long day.