Episode 29: Let Me Tell You About Trollin' With Trollian

Episode 29: Let Me Tell You About Trollin' with Trollian
Luke and Ashley

We've at last made it to Act 5 proper! Karkat immediately makes an ass out of himself talking to John, and then proceeds to make an even bigger ass out of himself trying to convince the other trolls to help him harass the kids. Meanwhile, Vriska's apparently got a few irons in the fire! What's her DEAL?

Episode 28: Let Me Tell You About The Ultimate Reward

THE WAIT IS OVER. After an unplanned hiatus of an unFORGIVEABLE length, LMTYAHS Beta is back! Luke and Ashley explore the final leg of Hivebent, as Karkat discovers and then tortures himself with Trollian's memo system, Terezi schemes to exile Jack Noir, and Aradia rediscovers nihilism as the fate of the trolls reveals itself to be completely set in stone. They overcame a nearly impossible challenge, and were still denied their reward. It's so infuriating! Why if they discovered that 4 kids out in the multiverse were somehow responsible for what happened, they'd be SO mad.

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Earth-C Episode 3: Let Me Tell You About Rapping

Jules heads home to Australia but that can't stop the Homestuck train!

Rose's computer loses power and she resorts to escaping to the mausoleum. John loses his father's car and meets a long lost relative. Dave starts to show us a bit more about who he is. Jade investigates a meteor.

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Alpha Episode 30: Let Me Tell You About Penis Ouija

Roxy finds a group of exiles in her lab and Dirk gets jeered. Jane enters the game finally but doesn't prototype anything. Isn't that supposed to be the worst thing? Also that's not a metor, that's a space ship piloted by Her Imperial Condescension. Drik and Roxy come out of their rooms to find a destroyed world in the future. Meanwhile Andrew Hussies nurses Spades Slick and gets a nasty houses guest. Karkat argues with himself again, Rose tells Dave what's going on and Dave and Karkat makes some art. John has a birthday and Terezi meets a new face. 

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Earth-C Episode 2: Let Me Tell You About Meteors

We rejoin young John Egbert as he prototypes his kernel and finds out there's a meteor about to crash into his house. Uh oh! We also meet young Rose LaLonde, who is trying to help John while dealing with a power outage and a raging storm. Can Rose help John escape from the meteor bearing down on him!?

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Alpha Episode 29: Let Me Tell You About Relationship Drama

We learn all about this Dirk Strider guy. Well it's kind of impossible to learn ALL about him. He loves Lil Cal, rap battles and My Little Pony. Dirk however has some problems, namely the fact that he doesn't know how to confess his love for Jake and he's constantly harassed by an AI based on himself who reveals deep insecurities he has about himself. But fuck that Dirk puts the head of HB on a pike! He's so cool. We also meet a mysterious new troll in a pretty blue dress. Meanwhile Jane tries to confess to Jake and blows it as bad as she could and Jake says he's ready to explore the adventure of human sexuality.  Roxy holds a funeral for her fallen cat, but something else is in there with her.

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Alpha Episode 28: Let Me Tell You About Roxy and Dirk

Ashley and Molly find Jane recovering from an assassination attempt only to be plunged into another assassination attempt! She finally agrees to trust the mysterious members of their party and reads some equine literature. We finally learn Roxy and Dirk’s names as their rooms are revealed to us. Not revealed is how these kids are living as they claim their parents are dead. Ashley and Molly get comfortable in the same room, have some booze and hit on some robots. It’s fiiiiiiine.

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Earth-C Episode 1: Let Me Tell You About Jules

Earth-C Episode 1: Let Me Tell You About Jules
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So it's come to this. It finally happened. The dark gears of Let Me Tell You About Homestuck turn ceaselessly, unendingly, and one Julie Low has accidentally caught herself stuck in the teeth of the machine known as LMTYAHS. We jump right into the opening of the comic and talk about this dork named John Egbert. Why is he trying to pull off a disguise to walk around his house at 13 years old???

These episodes SHOULD go up every other weekend if possible.

Alpha Episode 27: Let Me Tell You About Corpse Parties

Jake shows us around his island as we get a look at some frightening fauna. Roxy calls about wondering about his wriggling day and talks about being pale with him and Jane. Wait, how does she know what that is? Dirk finally talks and he and Jane discuss the dangerously annoying Lil' Seb. A joke from act one pays off and Jane finally gets the mail. Meanwhile John finds out it's going to take them three years to get to the new session and sends a lewd letter to Karkat. Meanwhile the meteor crew turn their back on the bodies and that goes about as well as it always does. Also sloppy makeouts.

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Alpha Episode 26: Let Me Tell You About Jane and Jake

Ashley and Molly return to Earth, but not everything is as it seems. Molly is back to knowing nothing about Homestuck. Why are people trying to kill Jane Crocker, heir to the Betty Crocker empire? Why does Jake English have stuff that looks a lot like Lord English? Who is this strange troll talking to Jane? Why does Jake have lusus bed sheets? Who let Roxy have booze? Why are all these kids so THIRSTY????

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Alpha Episode 25: Let Me Tell You About Cascade

Molly and Ashley discover the secret locked behind a door in Doc Scratch's apartment. He tells them and his secret protegee about the history of trolls, specifically before they scratched their game. Andrew Hussie jumps into the comic and finally becomes a real character.  The scratch finally happens, people die, people ascend, suckers are revealed and the promise of a new universe awaits.

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Alpha Episode 24: Let Me Tell You About Choices

Ashley and Molly have to pick up the panels after Doc Scratch beats up a ruffian. This leaves with an alarming amount of free will. They have a variety of stories to choose from! Are they going to read about Dave and Rose and who is piloting the now very real suicide mission? Or maybe they are going to hear the sad story of Vriska meeting a John who doesn't seemt to remember her? Perhaps they'll find out what the returning Davesprite knows about the true nature of denizens? Will they find what is behind the locked door in Doc Scratch's apartment and who "she" is? Will they be reunited with Jade and Karkat as they talk about frogs and receive an impossible task? Or maybe they'll get in a rap off with Gamzee and Tavros for some reason. Of course, the answer is "All of them." That's the only answer when you have free will.

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