With half of this podcast leaving Hivebent and the other half entering it, it might be a good time to pause and take stock. Also I think my past self promised to do this episode during an angry fit it was throwing at my even paster self? Who knows. Anyway, I recap the first four acts of homestuck, which is generally considered the first part of the story, and the "classic flavor" version before things started getting weird with trolls and cherubs and a bunch of other kids and weird crap. See you later this week for the start of Hivebent!
Read MoreAlpha Episode 13: Let Me Tell You About Trolling Humans
Molly and Ashley return to the kid's universe, we finally see what happened to them after tragedy struck. First Karkat has to hit on John who's wearing some odd PJs and they plan to meet up. Jade jumps into bed and Rose begins to take everything apart. We learn the answer to a mystery we didn't know was a mystery and have a lot of trans timeline talk. Wait, no not that kind.
Read MoreAlpha Episode 12: Let Me Tell You About Sgrub Endgame
Molly and Ashley FINALLY wrap up the section of the comic known as Hivebent. Just what are the feelings between the Sea Dwellers? What's the deal with Dream Lives? Has Molly seen The Never Ending Story? Are memos really hard to voice act? Is Karkat the best at romance? What is THE SCRATCH? Did Karkat and Terezi fuck??? We hear the answer to some of those.
Read MoreEpisode 21: Let Me Tell You About The Ultimate Riddle
If your fate is set in stone, how can your decisions matter? What's the point of knowing the future if there's nothing you can do to change it? If the game is rigged from the start, why bother playing? And most importantly: why does John love Con Air so friggin' much?
Read MoreEpisode 20: Let Me Tell You About Ectobiology
Chess pieces both figurative and literal are moving into place as the kids' Reckoning rapidly approaches. Jack Noir murders the Black King, WV assembles an army, Rose and Dave suit up, and I BLOW ASHLEY'S MIND when John takes a fateful trip into the Veil.
Read MoreAlpha Episode 11: Let Me Tell You About The Quadrants
Molly and Ashley are STILL in Hivebent and it's time for Ashley to take Molly to school. Well, if school specialized in fictional alien romance and reproduction. We learn about a hatred of frogs, get a mobius reacharound. meet a fashionable Twilight Fan, watch a fan favorite character bully a kid in a wheelchair and finally meet two undersea royals.
Read MoreAlpha Episode 10: Let Me Tell You About 8luh 8luh
Molly and Ashley continue through Hivebent as they continue to meet all these new characters. There's a guy who like being STRONG and everyone favorite spider girl. Our hosts deal with a murderous lusus, have a cybering session, learn a character was dead all along, deal with the first Homestuck break and meet an excellent host.
Read MoreAlpha Episode 9: Let Me Tell You About FLARP
Molly and Ashley meet some more trolls including a bee hacker, a boy with big dreams, a shipping cat girl and a very spooky girl with no interests. Bad puns are told, cute cat names are said and cursed viruses are run. We meet Rufioh who is fake and not real. Molly and Ashley make weird wrestling jokes and we learn of a demon who is already here.
Read MoreEpisode 19: Let Me Tell You About Inevitability
Hug your loved ones tight John, because things are about to take a TURN. Luke and Ashley watch as John kills himself and forces Dave to consign an entire timeline to oblivion to save him, while Jack Noir finally lashes out and claims his bloody, brutal destiny. All the signs seem to point to the future being unchangeable and unescapable. But if that's the case, then what does it mean that the kids are apparently doomed to failure?
SPOILER WARNING: We talk about The Big Act 6 Reveal in this episode because Ashley already sort of knew about it! If you're new to Homestuck, skip ahead at 1:04:00 to 1:07:00.
Read MoreAlpha Episode 8: Let Me Tell You About Alternia
Welcome fellow trolls!!! It's youur friendly host Mrtyuu Sappho (that's me in the album art!!!) and I'm here with my morail Yrfrin Mollly. I think youu'll really love this episode!!! We make all sorts of fuunny voices and talk about ouur weird planet!!!
Okay that joke is already getting tired. Ashley and Molly do get to Act 5 and start reading the turning moment of the comic known as Hivebent. What does Molly think about all these new characters? What's the deal with this spooky girl? Why does Sollux say they're all going to die? Just how good is Terezi? Some of these quuuestions are answered!!! Wait, shit.
Read MoreEpisode 18: Let Me Tell You About Seers and Queens
The pieces are beginning to fall into place as the kids dig deeper into SBURB and Luke and Ashley dig deeper into Act 4. They learn about the roles the exiles play, the complicated time travel nonsense the trolls have gotten themselves tangled up in, and the alchemiter's upgrade system. The trolls' Seer arrives on the scene, taunting our heroes and threatening to murder them. And most importantly of all, Luke makes good on a very important promise.
Read MoreAlpha Episode 7: Let Me Tell You About Babies
Molly and Ashley are getting neck deep in the Homestuck shit, but first they have to watch Dave make a bunch of mostly useless bullshit. We watch a Betty Crocker Factory blow up. Then we watch John make his parents, his friends and himself. Then we watch as everything goes bad as we end Act 4.
Read MoreEpisode 17: Let Me Tell You About Salamanders
Dangit Ashley, way to scoop me on "Let Me Tell You About LOWAS"!
Ashley and I take our first, stumbling steps out into the Land of Wind and Shade. We learn about secret wizards, crumpled hats, and the sacred nature of frogs. Before we can even stop to catch our breath, Rose enters her own world, the Land of Light and Rain. As she fondly regards the Lisa Frank notebook she's been banished to, Dave and Jade get to work setting up Dave's session, and our friends in the distant future bask in the glow of the human emotion called friendship.
Read MoreAlpha Episode 6: Let Me Tell You About Stuffed Bunnies
Ashley and Molly return from their brief flirtation with fourth wall breaking to talk to more trolls, take some shortcuts and crash into Rose's house. Presents are opened, secret PTA meetings are held, questions are asked and big men have the answers,
Read MoreEpisode 16: Let Me Tell You About The Felt
As Luke and Ashley continue to wind their way through The Felt's mansion, more of its secrets are slowly exposed. Who is Lord English? What's the deal with Snowman? How is Spades Slick connected to Jack Noir? Along the way, Luke taunts Ashley with all the Homestuck Secrets he knows, and the two take a moment to present a very important PSA.
Alpha Episode 5: Let Me Tell You About Regicide
Ashley and Molly are left to pick up the pieces of what went so horribly wrong last time as we learn about doomed timelines. John goes on a jetpack ride, Rose falls asleep, Dave talks to himself and Jack Noir takes control. Also Andrew Hussie shows up so we talk about horse paintings and he tells us about Homestuck.
Read MoreAlpha Episode 4: Let Me Tell You About Sick Fires
Molly and Ashley are greeted with a giant eggy looking thing, some trolls with bad attitudes and worse rhymes and a touching reunion between two groups that just met. The kids make their way through their lands while being harassed by aliens and the exiles have a royal meeting. Molly learns about Troll movie culture, GC threatens to murder a child and everything goes horribly wrong.
Read MoreEpisode 15: Let Me Tell You About Spades Slick
I'm finally releasing an episode that was referenced by Ashley and Molly two alpha episodes ago! It wouldn't be a Homestuck podcast without a convoluted timeline. Fresh out of Act 3, we find ourselves filled with questions, but of course Homestuck isn't keen on answering any of them. Instead, we take off on an apparently completely unrelated adventure through the mansion of the time-traveling mobster gang, The Felt. Spades Slick is on a mission to destroy clocks, murder green men, and drop maddening hints about the larger nature of Homestuck's universe.
Alpha Episode 3: Let Me Tell You About LOWAS
Molly and Ashley finally bust out of a confusing intermission to finally see the new world John has found himself in. They walk around a bit, take in the local culture, meet a secret wizard and use funny voices. Also bad decisions involving shaving cream are made.
Read MoreAlpha Episode 2: Let Me Tell You About The Midnight Crew
Molly and Ashley enter the bizarre world of the Midnight Crew. Well, bizzare in a different way then what Homestuck usually is. We get up to our asses in time travel, eggs and biscuits, Problem Sleuth references that Ashley loves and just general mayhem. Also we try to unravel how exactly this whole thing connects to Homestuck proper. Oh, and we see one of those trolls people keep talking about.
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